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April 07, 2009
Jaws of the Mississippi - 10
by J.R. Absher
There aren’t many movies that depict the finer points of angling, the craft and skill associated with catching fish and the overall pleasure of all things piscatorial. But leave it to The Newshound to bring Outdoor Life readers the latest in angling entertainment—news about a provocative new fishing movie you’re not going to find playing at your local theatre or Cineplex 4. No sirree! This puppy is destined to make a beeline straight to DVD! I can't even begin to do justice to the screenplay and plot of “Jaws of the Mississippi,” so here’s the synopsis provided by the movie’s producer, Active Entertainment (based in the American cinematic hotbed of creativity, Lafayette, Louisiana): A massive hurricane devastates the Gulf of Mexico, with it a US government’s top-secret anti-bioterrorism facility. When one of its highly radioactive chemicals spills into the ocean it triggers mutations in a great white shark, enabling its adaptation to survive in fresh water. As this shark reeks (that’s the producer’s spelling, not mine) havoc on local Mississippi River towns it poses the additional risk of spreading this radioactive material and contaminating the entire freshwater system of the United States. Local fisherman Ward and his hillbilly crew are secretly hired to hunt down this shark, and when they find it threatening a group of teenage boaters, Ward must face his troubled past to save these kids and prevent further catastrophe. Something tells me the riveting movie dialogue contains a line like: “We’re gonna need a bigger jonboat!”
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Comments (10)
This is the best example of why I don't watch many movies anymore. I prefer there to be a sane believable concept in the movie, not trying to capitalize on a shtick that has already been overused. Maybe when the film is done with animation would I consider it, like Monsters vs Aliens. I won't be buying this when it hits the stores.
I'm a little afraid of why the protagonist shouldn't approach teenagers.
Sounds to me that movie is going to fast become a bargain bend Wal-Mart special.Man do I miss John Wayne.
BRBB
Wow that sounds like a movie I would see on the Sci-Fi channel, can't even count the number of times i've seen movies like this and been dissappointed, the worst part was i actually sat down and watched them.
Sounds like good clean fun to me.
anouther movie i wont be watching come on! a great white in the mississippi river! now i know why people hate holly wood lol
Say what you will, but I think this will be the single greatest movie about radioactive Great White Sharks in the Mississippi River to ever come out of Hollywood. Mark my words. You heard it here first.
Paul Bunyan, hopefully it will be the last movie about a radioactive Great White Sharks in the Mississippi River.
We don't need "radio-active" Great whites ine the Miss. there are already Bull/Zambiezi sharks(that CAN move from fresh to salt and back) with cases reported as for north as Ill. if you think I'm kidding look it up or go to The History Chan. /monsterquest (THEY DO EAT PEOPLE !!!!)
What do you guys have against radioactive great white sharks in the Mississippi? I smell OSCAR. The bargain shelf at WalMart needs watching.
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)
Sounds to me that movie is going to fast become a bargain bend Wal-Mart special.Man do I miss John Wayne.
BRBB
I'm a little afraid of why the protagonist shouldn't approach teenagers.
Wow that sounds like a movie I would see on the Sci-Fi channel, can't even count the number of times i've seen movies like this and been dissappointed, the worst part was i actually sat down and watched them.
Sounds like good clean fun to me.
Say what you will, but I think this will be the single greatest movie about radioactive Great White Sharks in the Mississippi River to ever come out of Hollywood. Mark my words. You heard it here first.
We don't need "radio-active" Great whites ine the Miss. there are already Bull/Zambiezi sharks(that CAN move from fresh to salt and back) with cases reported as for north as Ill. if you think I'm kidding look it up or go to The History Chan. /monsterquest (THEY DO EAT PEOPLE !!!!)
This is the best example of why I don't watch many movies anymore. I prefer there to be a sane believable concept in the movie, not trying to capitalize on a shtick that has already been overused. Maybe when the film is done with animation would I consider it, like Monsters vs Aliens. I won't be buying this when it hits the stores.
What do you guys have against radioactive great white sharks in the Mississippi? I smell OSCAR. The bargain shelf at WalMart needs watching.
anouther movie i wont be watching come on! a great white in the mississippi river! now i know why people hate holly wood lol
Paul Bunyan, hopefully it will be the last movie about a radioactive Great White Sharks in the Mississippi River.
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)