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I Hate My Editor and I am Not Gay
June 24, 2010
I Hate My Editor and I am Not Gay - 13

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Writing a book is difficult.

It takes time, a great deal of research, and a lot of planning.  Even after the first draft is written there’s a ton of work to be done.  Depending upon the publisher, the book can go through upwards of five or six edits.  Following that the book goes to a graphic designer who places the pictures, sets the text, and basically decides what the end product will look like. The entire process can take several months if not years.  So it was with complete shock that upon receiving my latest book Texas Safari: The Fishing Guide to Texas (blatant plug) that I discovered one major grammatical problem: the word “each” was omitted.

The word was apparently cut in order to compress a sidebar piece I wrote about my friends and me going to Lake Amistad along the Texas / Mexico border for more than fifteen years.  How did my editor miss the missing word?  Why is it such a big deal?  Well let me show you.

The sentence as written was “My friend Joel and I each got married, started a family, and incurred the kind of tremendous debt that goes along with such things.”

The sentence as published was “My friend Joel and I got married, started a family, and incurred the kind of tremendous debt that goes along with such things.”

“Joel and I got married!”  What the hell!  I mean, really, what the hell!

My editor promises he didn’t take the word out as a joke and that the omission was a simple mistake.  Mistake!?!  A mistake is misidentifying a fish or a lure - not stating in black and white that the author’s gay!  I mean it doesn’t just state that I’m gay but that I’m married to another guy and that we have a family!  I’m not a lawyer or anything but I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in most states. Hell, I know it’s illegal in Texas.

And no offense to my friend Joel but he’s not even my type.  I’m mean he’s not ugly or anything.  My wife (Karen – a woman, and yes, by birth) says he’s handsome in a brother kind of way but he’s just not my type.

I like redheads.

So, in review….writing a book takes a lot of time and patience, I’m very angry at my editor, and I’m not gay. ( Not that there's anything wrong with that )

Oh…and if you read this, you should probably buy my book.  Not to help me out or anything, but just to show all your friends the mistake and laugh at me behind my back.

Really that’s the only reason.

Comments (13)

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from The Captain wrote 10 weeks 6 days ago

Gayne, I too know that writing a book is tough... I am about 150 pages into the bio I am writing, and it is like pulling teeth (mostly my own). And I too hate editors.
As far as being gay... I know I am not gay.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ishi wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

Congratulations on your book Gayne. I'll have to fire up my Amazon.com account and check it out.

I also wish you and Joel many years of happiness.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from patrick88 wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

sounds like the editor is trying to drive you to drink.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from BrianLynn wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

blahahahahahaa....now that is funny. Editors strive for accuracy...

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sidewinder wrote 10 weeks 4 days ago

Gayne, why didn't you share the news of your upcoming nuptials with your generally loyal and more or less faithful readers? You could at least have let us know where you and Joel were registered; we could have taken a collection and given you and Joel a wedding gift.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from HawkEye wrote 10 weeks 4 days ago

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! That is priceless!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from PBurns wrote 10 weeks 4 days ago

Not that there's anything wrong with it, Gayne. ;)

P

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from garyfisherman wrote 10 weeks 3 days ago

my wife and I are having a good laugh about this. The same thing happened to my brother and my cousin. They decided to combine their bachelor parties because they were getting married within 6 days of each other. The invites for the party were written in such a way that it sounded like they were marrying each other....nothing like cousin loving!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from clydejr wrote 10 weeks 3 days ago

Hilarious!! Absolutely the funniest thing I've read on here. Pretty sure you are right about being illegal in TX!
Better watch out they'll deport you! Maybe to "Kalifornia"!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 10 weeks 1 day ago

That's funny--I don't care who you are. I'll tell you what, I'm pretty secure in my manhood but that would have pissed me off too. I got almost as big a laugh at you saying your wife is a woman "by birth" cause when I was growing up, that was never an issue--these days, I guess you need to check! LMAO

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bo wrote 9 weeks 4 days ago

Gayne, maybe I don't want to go camping with you...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from purplehead wrote 9 weeks 3 days ago

Your editor didn't spell your name Young, Gay'n, did he?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

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from Sidewinder wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

Gayne, why didn't you share the news of your upcoming nuptials with your generally loyal and more or less faithful readers? You could at least have let us know where you and Joel were registered; we could have taken a collection and given you and Joel a wedding gift.

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from The Captain wrote 11 weeks 6 hours ago

Gayne, I too know that writing a book is tough... I am about 150 pages into the bio I am writing, and it is like pulling teeth (mostly my own). And I too hate editors.
As far as being gay... I know I am not gay.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ishi wrote 10 weeks 6 days ago

Congratulations on your book Gayne. I'll have to fire up my Amazon.com account and check it out.

I also wish you and Joel many years of happiness.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from BrianLynn wrote 10 weeks 6 days ago

blahahahahahaa....now that is funny. Editors strive for accuracy...

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from patrick88 wrote 10 weeks 6 days ago

sounds like the editor is trying to drive you to drink.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from HawkEye wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! That is priceless!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from PBurns wrote 10 weeks 5 days ago

Not that there's anything wrong with it, Gayne. ;)

P

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from garyfisherman wrote 10 weeks 4 days ago

my wife and I are having a good laugh about this. The same thing happened to my brother and my cousin. They decided to combine their bachelor parties because they were getting married within 6 days of each other. The invites for the party were written in such a way that it sounded like they were marrying each other....nothing like cousin loving!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from clydejr wrote 10 weeks 4 days ago

Hilarious!! Absolutely the funniest thing I've read on here. Pretty sure you are right about being illegal in TX!
Better watch out they'll deport you! Maybe to "Kalifornia"!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from seadog wrote 10 weeks 2 days ago

That's funny--I don't care who you are. I'll tell you what, I'm pretty secure in my manhood but that would have pissed me off too. I got almost as big a laugh at you saying your wife is a woman "by birth" cause when I was growing up, that was never an issue--these days, I guess you need to check! LMAO

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from purplehead wrote 9 weeks 4 days ago

Your editor didn't spell your name Young, Gay'n, did he?

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from Bo wrote 9 weeks 5 days ago

Gayne, maybe I don't want to go camping with you...

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from mbtshoes12 wrote 2 weeks 3 days ago

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