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Top Ten Christmas Gifts You Hope Fall Out of Santa's Sleigh

December 22, 2011
Top Ten Christmas Gifts You Hope Fall Out of Santa's Sleigh - 47

Sorry for taking a week off, folks. My Internet service on Hooper’s Island in Maryland was nonexistent. At least the crab cakes at Salty’s were pretty darn good. And we did make one heck of a sea duck hunting episode that I’m super excited for all of you to watch!

Besides the opening day of duck, deer, goose, pheasant, dove and antelope season, Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. It seems the older I get the more ridiculous the gifts I receive get. Since when did my mom think I’d like a t-shirt with two raccoons and a squirrel on it? Ugly? Yes, but very fitting of my personality I suppose. But you know what I mean about sweaters, socks, ties and 99-cent tools.

And what’s with the air fresheners? Yes mom, my dog needs a bath. I’ll get to it sometime around the 2nd! After pheasant season closes. Tell me the one gift that you hope Santa doesn’t bring you this year. Top winner this week also receives a signed GUN IT poster. Thank you all, for making this a great year!

I also want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Here’s mine: I’m hearing rumblings and I don’t want it… A cat.

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.

Last week’s Winner

Top Ten Excuses Your Buddy Uses For His Hunting Dog

10.) from Augustheat: because he's a cat you nitwit....

9.) from KodaBear: He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers.

8.) from Matt Eckholm: I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat.

7.) from captjim: Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat.

6.) from jhartwig24: With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves!

5.) from bearcreeksfarm: He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises!

4.) from Sven_Katur: Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings.

3.) from Mike Bartley: She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one.

2.) from Augustheat: Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused.

1.) from destreet: Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!!

Comments (47)

Top Rated
All Comments
from trudeau wrote 1 year 33 weeks ago

A brand new Hoyt.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A camo snuggy...seriously it's a backwards bathrobe and I am supposed to be grateful for it...really...it was hard not so say "You've got to be sh#$en me..." really...sorry but they thought I should be happy about this when all I wanted was a box of shells for duck hunting

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from BubbaK wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

The worst gift? A donation in my name to the Humane Society of the US - give me the money, and I'll purchase sports equipment and hunting gear that will do a lot more for the benefit of game species than HSUS ever will do.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mat Flores wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Liberal Facebook Dipweeds

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A Box of Super Duty Tampons.
My wife thinks they would make for some great deer scent wicks hanging from the tree braches, and she says you can even use 3-4 of them and use them as a scent drag. Although she might be right, it is just TRUELY wrong for a guy to even think of this as a reasonable option!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A man bag. I don't care what the salesman told you, it's a purse!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from gilley75 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Another damn outdated not so funny "you might be a redneck" t-shirt, book or calendar. I know I'm a redneck I don't need it explained to me.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

FRUITCAKE - only a fruitcake would eat one

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Justin Winn wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Well, I bought my wife a new handgun for Christmas. She bought me reloading equipment... Given the irony of the gifts. I just may buy her a new set of knockers for her birthday! lol

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

a tofu cook book signed by peta president, Ingrid Newkirk

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jimyoumook wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a Peta convintion hosted by obama in my living room

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from IND_NRA wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

any kind of jelly, candle, or fruit of the month club!

I got a hog back from the butcher on the 22nd(just in time for Christmas) when I got home and cooked up some of the hot cajun cased sausage he had for got to put the spices in it, so now I am trying to choke down what tastes like an old tube sock with meat in it.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a giftcard to hot topic

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckrogman wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

VideoGame for XBOX 360: Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2012: PETA edition.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

naked Rosie O'Donell quote of the day calender

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

more gun laws

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Salladthewhitet... wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything PETA

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ric Waters wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

I carved a brook trout and wan't happy with it. My mom pulled it from my scrap heap, painted it, screwed brass hooks in the side and gave it to me for hanging my keys on.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from drake_whisperer wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A week long visit from my new mother-in-law...'nuff said...Anyone need company in a duck blind? The lab and I are ready to load up the wagon and peel out of here.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Richard Gergen wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

When I was 11 I got a pair of Ice Skates. I hated to ice skate and the pair I had had never been used. I cried like a girl. The next Christmas I got my Grandpas JC Higgins 12 gauge pump, and Dad bought a Marlin 22 auto rifle. So I went from worst to best Christmas ever.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything that has a Dallas Cowboys logo on it. Excluding the cheerleaders calendar of course.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

The "English Leather/ Soap on a Rope" deluxe combo set.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A python.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A box full of used disposable razors.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

"Onesies" for adults (a.k.a. one piece pajamas)
My mom bought these for our family last year. Most embarrasing moment of my 30 years of christmas holidays!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Tube Socks! Everytime I see tube socks, I laugh cuz I think of the teacher in sex ed classes telling us kids about what some guys use them for.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Reindeer poop. I have three dogs and I pick up three dogs worth of poop all year long. The one gift that I hope Santa doesn't bring me this year is nine reindeer pooping on my lawn. I have enough poop to pick up as it is.
Merry Christmas everybody!..... Johnnie and Family

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kolt30 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

1 year membership to PETA America Magazine

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

LOL Dcast! oh man....
How about my spoiled rich bosses just cut me down because my gift to them was part of a group gift from the office and not that meaningful. spoiled friggin' yuppies man. So, a gift I DO NOT want, is another year working here!!! Benny, hire me as a sidekick! Half the time I miss too!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from illinoisburt wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything recommended by a salesperson for "out-door-zee" people - especially so if it includes a free hat.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Do not want list:
* Obama novelty coffee mug
* Subscription to Better Homes & Garden
* Last years gift you didn't like
* Clothes to large or to small
* A gift card that makes me go shopping for myself, I hate shopping! Unless it is to a sporting goods store.

Many more to mention, but for times sake I'll stop!

Hurckles, I second your post about the gift cards! My mother last year got me a $50 gift card to Gander Mountain for my birthday (Dec. 19) and got me a $50 gift card to Bass Pro shops for Christmas (Dec. 25th!) Dratttttt!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from montananative wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Aren't all chaps a$$less, lol.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from pbshooter1217 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A gift certificate to the mall, I was their long enough with my girl friend Christmas shopping.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from cjohnsrud wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A Do-It-Yourself Barrel Rusting kit. I definitely don't need that!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Big Mouth Billy Bass

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A gift card to that "urban Sportsman" store REI.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A$$less Chaps, I just don't need them.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a "no Bacon" Cookbook...blasphemy!!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

lite beer...that ain't funny.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a sheet of those stupid PETA celebrity vegetarian stamps.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

small gift cards to a bunch of different places. $10 for Bass Pro, $10 for Cabelas, $10 for Dicks, $10 for the local flyshop. Really? no one got together on this and just picked on place? I mean, what did we really accomplish here?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

pajama pant's...dammit grandma i sleep in my undies!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Feral hog chia pet.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Macrame starter kit.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

New bathroom scales.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

The Havahart Live Deer Trap

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Women's Lingerie...it's not the base layer I want to wear hunting.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)

from JM wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Women's Lingerie...it's not the base layer I want to wear hunting.

+4 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Macrame starter kit.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Feral hog chia pet.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

New bathroom scales.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

lite beer...that ain't funny.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a "no Bacon" Cookbook...blasphemy!!!!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A gift card to that "urban Sportsman" store REI.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from montananative wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Aren't all chaps a$$less, lol.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A python.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Ric Waters wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

I carved a brook trout and wan't happy with it. My mom pulled it from my scrap heap, painted it, screwed brass hooks in the side and gave it to me for hanging my keys on.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

a tofu cook book signed by peta president, Ingrid Newkirk

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Justin Winn wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Well, I bought my wife a new handgun for Christmas. She bought me reloading equipment... Given the irony of the gifts. I just may buy her a new set of knockers for her birthday! lol

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A man bag. I don't care what the salesman told you, it's a purse!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

The Havahart Live Deer Trap

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

pajama pant's...dammit grandma i sleep in my undies!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

small gift cards to a bunch of different places. $10 for Bass Pro, $10 for Cabelas, $10 for Dicks, $10 for the local flyshop. Really? no one got together on this and just picked on place? I mean, what did we really accomplish here?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a sheet of those stupid PETA celebrity vegetarian stamps.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A$$less Chaps, I just don't need them.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Big Mouth Billy Bass

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from cjohnsrud wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A Do-It-Yourself Barrel Rusting kit. I definitely don't need that!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Do not want list:
* Obama novelty coffee mug
* Subscription to Better Homes & Garden
* Last years gift you didn't like
* Clothes to large or to small
* A gift card that makes me go shopping for myself, I hate shopping! Unless it is to a sporting goods store.

Many more to mention, but for times sake I'll stop!

Hurckles, I second your post about the gift cards! My mother last year got me a $50 gift card to Gander Mountain for my birthday (Dec. 19) and got me a $50 gift card to Bass Pro shops for Christmas (Dec. 25th!) Dratttttt!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from illinoisburt wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything recommended by a salesperson for "out-door-zee" people - especially so if it includes a free hat.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

LOL Dcast! oh man....
How about my spoiled rich bosses just cut me down because my gift to them was part of a group gift from the office and not that meaningful. spoiled friggin' yuppies man. So, a gift I DO NOT want, is another year working here!!! Benny, hire me as a sidekick! Half the time I miss too!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kolt30 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

1 year membership to PETA America Magazine

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Reindeer poop. I have three dogs and I pick up three dogs worth of poop all year long. The one gift that I hope Santa doesn't bring me this year is nine reindeer pooping on my lawn. I have enough poop to pick up as it is.
Merry Christmas everybody!..... Johnnie and Family

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Tube Socks! Everytime I see tube socks, I laugh cuz I think of the teacher in sex ed classes telling us kids about what some guys use them for.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

"Onesies" for adults (a.k.a. one piece pajamas)
My mom bought these for our family last year. Most embarrasing moment of my 30 years of christmas holidays!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A box full of used disposable razors.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

The "English Leather/ Soap on a Rope" deluxe combo set.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything that has a Dallas Cowboys logo on it. Excluding the cheerleaders calendar of course.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Richard Gergen wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

When I was 11 I got a pair of Ice Skates. I hated to ice skate and the pair I had had never been used. I cried like a girl. The next Christmas I got my Grandpas JC Higgins 12 gauge pump, and Dad bought a Marlin 22 auto rifle. So I went from worst to best Christmas ever.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from drake_whisperer wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A week long visit from my new mother-in-law...'nuff said...Anyone need company in a duck blind? The lab and I are ready to load up the wagon and peel out of here.....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Salladthewhitet... wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

Anything PETA

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

more gun laws

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

naked Rosie O'Donell quote of the day calender

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ckrogman wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

VideoGame for XBOX 360: Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2012: PETA edition.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a giftcard to hot topic

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from IND_NRA wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

any kind of jelly, candle, or fruit of the month club!

I got a hog back from the butcher on the 22nd(just in time for Christmas) when I got home and cooked up some of the hot cajun cased sausage he had for got to put the spices in it, so now I am trying to choke down what tastes like an old tube sock with meat in it.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jimyoumook wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

a Peta convintion hosted by obama in my living room

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

FRUITCAKE - only a fruitcake would eat one

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from gilley75 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Another damn outdated not so funny "you might be a redneck" t-shirt, book or calendar. I know I'm a redneck I don't need it explained to me.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A Box of Super Duty Tampons.
My wife thinks they would make for some great deer scent wicks hanging from the tree braches, and she says you can even use 3-4 of them and use them as a scent drag. Although she might be right, it is just TRUELY wrong for a guy to even think of this as a reasonable option!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mat Flores wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

Liberal Facebook Dipweeds

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from BubbaK wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

The worst gift? A donation in my name to the Humane Society of the US - give me the money, and I'll purchase sports equipment and hunting gear that will do a lot more for the benefit of game species than HSUS ever will do.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 16 weeks ago

A camo snuggy...seriously it's a backwards bathrobe and I am supposed to be grateful for it...really...it was hard not so say "You've got to be sh#$en me..." really...sorry but they thought I should be happy about this when all I wanted was a box of shells for duck hunting

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trudeau wrote 1 year 33 weeks ago

A brand new Hoyt.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pbshooter1217 wrote 2 years 17 weeks ago

A gift certificate to the mall, I was their long enough with my girl friend Christmas shopping.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)