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December 22, 2011
Top Ten Christmas Gifts You Hope Fall Out of Santa's Sleigh - 47
by Benny Spies
Sorry for taking a week off, folks. My Internet service on Hooper’s Island in Maryland was nonexistent. At least the crab cakes at Salty’s were pretty darn good. And we did make one heck of a sea duck hunting episode that I’m super excited for all of you to watch! Besides the opening day of duck, deer, goose, pheasant, dove and antelope season, Christmas is one of my favorite times of year. It seems the older I get the more ridiculous the gifts I receive get. Since when did my mom think I’d like a t-shirt with two raccoons and a squirrel on it? Ugly? Yes, but very fitting of my personality I suppose. But you know what I mean about sweaters, socks, ties and 99-cent tools. And what’s with the air fresheners? Yes mom, my dog needs a bath. I’ll get to it sometime around the 2nd! After pheasant season closes. Tell me the one gift that you hope Santa doesn’t bring you this year. Top winner this week also receives a signed GUN IT poster. Thank you all, for making this a great year! I also want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Here’s mine: I’m hearing rumblings and I don’t want it… A cat. Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack. Top Ten Excuses Your Buddy Uses For His Hunting Dog 10.) from Augustheat: because he's a cat you nitwit.... 9.) from KodaBear: He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers. 8.) from Matt Eckholm: I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat. 7.) from captjim: Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat. 6.) from jhartwig24: With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves! 5.) from bearcreeksfarm: He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises! 4.) from Sven_Katur: Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings. 3.) from Mike Bartley: She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one. 2.) from Augustheat: Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused. 1.) from destreet: Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!! |
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Comments (47)
A brand new Hoyt.
A camo snuggy...seriously it's a backwards bathrobe and I am supposed to be grateful for it...really...it was hard not so say "You've got to be sh#$en me..." really...sorry but they thought I should be happy about this when all I wanted was a box of shells for duck hunting
The worst gift? A donation in my name to the Humane Society of the US - give me the money, and I'll purchase sports equipment and hunting gear that will do a lot more for the benefit of game species than HSUS ever will do.
Liberal Facebook Dipweeds
A Box of Super Duty Tampons.
My wife thinks they would make for some great deer scent wicks hanging from the tree braches, and she says you can even use 3-4 of them and use them as a scent drag. Although she might be right, it is just TRUELY wrong for a guy to even think of this as a reasonable option!
A man bag. I don't care what the salesman told you, it's a purse!
Another damn outdated not so funny "you might be a redneck" t-shirt, book or calendar. I know I'm a redneck I don't need it explained to me.
FRUITCAKE - only a fruitcake would eat one
Well, I bought my wife a new handgun for Christmas. She bought me reloading equipment... Given the irony of the gifts. I just may buy her a new set of knockers for her birthday! lol
a tofu cook book signed by peta president, Ingrid Newkirk
a Peta convintion hosted by obama in my living room
any kind of jelly, candle, or fruit of the month club!
I got a hog back from the butcher on the 22nd(just in time for Christmas) when I got home and cooked up some of the hot cajun cased sausage he had for got to put the spices in it, so now I am trying to choke down what tastes like an old tube sock with meat in it.
a giftcard to hot topic
VideoGame for XBOX 360: Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2012: PETA edition.
naked Rosie O'Donell quote of the day calender
more gun laws
Anything PETA
I carved a brook trout and wan't happy with it. My mom pulled it from my scrap heap, painted it, screwed brass hooks in the side and gave it to me for hanging my keys on.
A week long visit from my new mother-in-law...'nuff said...Anyone need company in a duck blind? The lab and I are ready to load up the wagon and peel out of here.....
When I was 11 I got a pair of Ice Skates. I hated to ice skate and the pair I had had never been used. I cried like a girl. The next Christmas I got my Grandpas JC Higgins 12 gauge pump, and Dad bought a Marlin 22 auto rifle. So I went from worst to best Christmas ever.
Anything that has a Dallas Cowboys logo on it. Excluding the cheerleaders calendar of course.
The "English Leather/ Soap on a Rope" deluxe combo set.
A python.
A box full of used disposable razors.
"Onesies" for adults (a.k.a. one piece pajamas)
My mom bought these for our family last year. Most embarrasing moment of my 30 years of christmas holidays!!
Tube Socks! Everytime I see tube socks, I laugh cuz I think of the teacher in sex ed classes telling us kids about what some guys use them for.
Reindeer poop. I have three dogs and I pick up three dogs worth of poop all year long. The one gift that I hope Santa doesn't bring me this year is nine reindeer pooping on my lawn. I have enough poop to pick up as it is.
Merry Christmas everybody!..... Johnnie and Family
1 year membership to PETA America Magazine
LOL Dcast! oh man....
How about my spoiled rich bosses just cut me down because my gift to them was part of a group gift from the office and not that meaningful. spoiled friggin' yuppies man. So, a gift I DO NOT want, is another year working here!!! Benny, hire me as a sidekick! Half the time I miss too!!!
Anything recommended by a salesperson for "out-door-zee" people - especially so if it includes a free hat.
Do not want list:
* Obama novelty coffee mug
* Subscription to Better Homes & Garden
* Last years gift you didn't like
* Clothes to large or to small
* A gift card that makes me go shopping for myself, I hate shopping! Unless it is to a sporting goods store.
Many more to mention, but for times sake I'll stop!
Hurckles, I second your post about the gift cards! My mother last year got me a $50 gift card to Gander Mountain for my birthday (Dec. 19) and got me a $50 gift card to Bass Pro shops for Christmas (Dec. 25th!) Dratttttt!
Aren't all chaps a$$less, lol.
A gift certificate to the mall, I was their long enough with my girl friend Christmas shopping.
A Do-It-Yourself Barrel Rusting kit. I definitely don't need that!
Big Mouth Billy Bass
A gift card to that "urban Sportsman" store REI.
A$$less Chaps, I just don't need them.
a "no Bacon" Cookbook...blasphemy!!!!!
lite beer...that ain't funny.
a sheet of those stupid PETA celebrity vegetarian stamps.
small gift cards to a bunch of different places. $10 for Bass Pro, $10 for Cabelas, $10 for Dicks, $10 for the local flyshop. Really? no one got together on this and just picked on place? I mean, what did we really accomplish here?
pajama pant's...dammit grandma i sleep in my undies!
Feral hog chia pet.
Macrame starter kit.
New bathroom scales.
The Havahart Live Deer Trap
Women's Lingerie...it's not the base layer I want to wear hunting.
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)
Women's Lingerie...it's not the base layer I want to wear hunting.
Macrame starter kit.
Feral hog chia pet.
New bathroom scales.
lite beer...that ain't funny.
a "no Bacon" Cookbook...blasphemy!!!!!
A gift card to that "urban Sportsman" store REI.
Aren't all chaps a$$less, lol.
A python.
I carved a brook trout and wan't happy with it. My mom pulled it from my scrap heap, painted it, screwed brass hooks in the side and gave it to me for hanging my keys on.
a tofu cook book signed by peta president, Ingrid Newkirk
Well, I bought my wife a new handgun for Christmas. She bought me reloading equipment... Given the irony of the gifts. I just may buy her a new set of knockers for her birthday! lol
A man bag. I don't care what the salesman told you, it's a purse!
The Havahart Live Deer Trap
pajama pant's...dammit grandma i sleep in my undies!
small gift cards to a bunch of different places. $10 for Bass Pro, $10 for Cabelas, $10 for Dicks, $10 for the local flyshop. Really? no one got together on this and just picked on place? I mean, what did we really accomplish here?
a sheet of those stupid PETA celebrity vegetarian stamps.
A$$less Chaps, I just don't need them.
Big Mouth Billy Bass
A Do-It-Yourself Barrel Rusting kit. I definitely don't need that!
Do not want list:
* Obama novelty coffee mug
* Subscription to Better Homes & Garden
* Last years gift you didn't like
* Clothes to large or to small
* A gift card that makes me go shopping for myself, I hate shopping! Unless it is to a sporting goods store.
Many more to mention, but for times sake I'll stop!
Hurckles, I second your post about the gift cards! My mother last year got me a $50 gift card to Gander Mountain for my birthday (Dec. 19) and got me a $50 gift card to Bass Pro shops for Christmas (Dec. 25th!) Dratttttt!
Anything recommended by a salesperson for "out-door-zee" people - especially so if it includes a free hat.
LOL Dcast! oh man....
How about my spoiled rich bosses just cut me down because my gift to them was part of a group gift from the office and not that meaningful. spoiled friggin' yuppies man. So, a gift I DO NOT want, is another year working here!!! Benny, hire me as a sidekick! Half the time I miss too!!!
1 year membership to PETA America Magazine
Reindeer poop. I have three dogs and I pick up three dogs worth of poop all year long. The one gift that I hope Santa doesn't bring me this year is nine reindeer pooping on my lawn. I have enough poop to pick up as it is.
Merry Christmas everybody!..... Johnnie and Family
Tube Socks! Everytime I see tube socks, I laugh cuz I think of the teacher in sex ed classes telling us kids about what some guys use them for.
"Onesies" for adults (a.k.a. one piece pajamas)
My mom bought these for our family last year. Most embarrasing moment of my 30 years of christmas holidays!!
A box full of used disposable razors.
The "English Leather/ Soap on a Rope" deluxe combo set.
Anything that has a Dallas Cowboys logo on it. Excluding the cheerleaders calendar of course.
When I was 11 I got a pair of Ice Skates. I hated to ice skate and the pair I had had never been used. I cried like a girl. The next Christmas I got my Grandpas JC Higgins 12 gauge pump, and Dad bought a Marlin 22 auto rifle. So I went from worst to best Christmas ever.
A week long visit from my new mother-in-law...'nuff said...Anyone need company in a duck blind? The lab and I are ready to load up the wagon and peel out of here.....
Anything PETA
more gun laws
naked Rosie O'Donell quote of the day calender
VideoGame for XBOX 360: Cabela's Dangerous Hunts 2012: PETA edition.
a giftcard to hot topic
any kind of jelly, candle, or fruit of the month club!
I got a hog back from the butcher on the 22nd(just in time for Christmas) when I got home and cooked up some of the hot cajun cased sausage he had for got to put the spices in it, so now I am trying to choke down what tastes like an old tube sock with meat in it.
a Peta convintion hosted by obama in my living room
FRUITCAKE - only a fruitcake would eat one
Another damn outdated not so funny "you might be a redneck" t-shirt, book or calendar. I know I'm a redneck I don't need it explained to me.
A Box of Super Duty Tampons.
My wife thinks they would make for some great deer scent wicks hanging from the tree braches, and she says you can even use 3-4 of them and use them as a scent drag. Although she might be right, it is just TRUELY wrong for a guy to even think of this as a reasonable option!
Liberal Facebook Dipweeds
The worst gift? A donation in my name to the Humane Society of the US - give me the money, and I'll purchase sports equipment and hunting gear that will do a lot more for the benefit of game species than HSUS ever will do.
A camo snuggy...seriously it's a backwards bathrobe and I am supposed to be grateful for it...really...it was hard not so say "You've got to be sh#$en me..." really...sorry but they thought I should be happy about this when all I wanted was a box of shells for duck hunting
A brand new Hoyt.
A gift certificate to the mall, I was their long enough with my girl friend Christmas shopping.
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)