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Top Ten Country Song Titles That Never Quite Made It

December 02, 2011
Top Ten Country Song Titles That Never Quite Made It - 48

Willie Nelson’s "On The Road Again" is the first song I can remember tappin’ the ol' toe to. In my early days, my Dad and I would drive three hours to shoot geese on the Missouri River, and it played every time we cruised down the highway. At that point in time Willie had me convinced that I was going to be a country music star. One problem, I don’t possess an ounce of musical talent. I mean zero, zilch, nothing even close. But that didn’t stop me from almost making “the phone call.”

Back in those days, my father helped with the local PRCA rodeo, during which I befriended many rodeo personalities. I often helped these people with random odd jobs.
One year an announcer from Nashville showed up to do the rodeo, and come to find out he had been, at one time, an executive at a major country music label. I helped him throughout the entire rodeo weekend, and as he left he handed me his card and told me to stay in touch. Around this same time Garth Brooks was lighting up the stage and I was fascinated how he could entertain a crowd.

I watched countless hours of his Dallas Texas Reunion Arena show. I had every move, lyric and note memorized. It must have hypnotized me into thinking that I could be THE next country music sensation. I know you want to hear that I made the call to this guy pitching myself, and I came damn close. I actually picked up the phone and started dialing, but realized I had no talent and hung up. I can’t imagine how that talent-less pitch would have gone! Honestly, I wish I had called and recorded it.

That’s a true story folks! Benny’s an idiot! Back to the issue at hand--the Top Ten. It’s no secret that there are some country songs with bizarre lyrics and titles. For examply, Jimmy Buffett’s, ‘Please Bypass This Heart.’ Johnny Cash, ‘You Can’t Have Your Kate And Edith Too.’ To tell you the truth, I think they’re awesome! So, get creative and let’s hear yours!

Here’s mine: Sh*t, shower and shave.

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.

Last week’s Winner

Trapper Vic, Giblets. Grandpa. Funny stuff. Somehow, I can picture that! Great everyone! They’re all great!

Top Ten Things to Never Say at The Thanksgiving Dinner Table

10.) from Fishman24: I know the turkey looks a little bit different this year. It's because I ran it over with my truck.

9.) from YoungBuck843: whos up for a song?

8.) from BubbaK: So Dad, has Mom met your new girlfriend?

7.) from Sven_Katur: So Benny ... when are you gonna settle down and make me some grand babies?

6.) from bigcat: Well, it's actually eagle, most people think it tastes just like turkey!

5.) from YoungBuck843: honestly im not sure what it is, i just saw a bird and shot it... gravy?

4.) from JM1993: Don't eat the skin off the turkey, the dog might of pissed on it while it was hanging in the outhouse.

3.) from lafamatj: the 16 year old to her parents: speaking of stuffing, mom dad, i'm pregnant.

2.) from QDMGuy: "The way the wife's been eating sure makes me glad we saved her chubby jeans!"

1.) from trapper vic: Gramps go put on some pants ur giblets are showing.

Comments (48)

Top Rated
All Comments
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Daddy shot Rudolph, so there won't be a christmas"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I'll build you your dream outhouse ifn'n ya'll let me out of the dawghouse.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

The dear with the big racks go after the dough don't ya know.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

There's a Deer In My Beer.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Goin home there I'll drink myself to death as soon as I get my welfare check

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mkorpal wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Blatz Splatz & Hairy Hatchet Wounds

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Wife Ran Off With Another Man, He Doesn't Know It, But He Is My Best Friend Now

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Girl Fiddled Around On Me And Broke The Strings Of My Heart

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big_8 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Readnekz r smart two!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"I'm Jist a Ditch Digger Hankerin' to Fill Your Hole."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I can remember a beautiful song from the'60's that for some reason I couldn't figure out never really made it. The name of the song was "Baby I Love You So !&%#&^% Much I Could Sh*t."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"My house got forclosed, I lost my job, my wife left and took my best hunting dog, the only thing I have left is my Big Mouth Billy Bass"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Mommas pregnant, and I'm the Daddy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Not an original, but one that I thought deserved a mention: "I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Is that a grunt call in your pocket or are you just happy to bleet me?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from 23 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"back, and the way you follow a track.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from 23 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Your so pretty, I'd like to hang you on my wall,
I didn't use a gun, I didn't use calls
But baby I like the way you rub my..."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

You put habaneros in the chili honey now I'm hot to trot for you.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from TM1 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I love her too dang much, for a sister.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Monty Shorter wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My pappy said son your gonna drive me to drinkin'
if you stop racing that hot rod winnie...
Have you heard the story of the hot rod race
Where the winnies and Lincolns were settin' the pace?
That story is true I'm here to say
I was drivin' that toaster A.

It's got a winnie motor and it's really souped up
That toaster body makes it look like a pup
It's got eight cylinders and uses 'em all
Got overdrive, just won't stall

With a four barrel carb and dual exhausts
With four-eleven gears you can really get lost
Got safety tubes, but I ain't scared
The brakes are good, the tires fair...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Appletiniville

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Me and You and a Cat Named Fluffy

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Is that a tent pole in your sleeping bag or are you just happy to see me?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Keith McNeil wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"I don't give a Schlitz about your Pabst, you'll always be Milwaukee's Best to me"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nonicknamehere wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

We spent the night in the Toaster and now you've got a bun in the oven ... Oooooh Baaaaby.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Roadtrip...er driveway trip since we're taking the toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Roadtrip...er driveway trip since we're taking the toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

ill always be yours Benny Spies

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Lost My Virginity In A Toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from lildodge_boy wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

take me in to the toaster.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Pezgt77 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Honey, I lost my ring in the gut pile.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bradnchan wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"When you leave me walk out backwards so I'll think you're comin' in"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

That buck I should be stalking is bedded-down with you ...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

Don't bend over in the garden granny you know them taters got eyes!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

(Commercially-available version)
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster, Honey,
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster, Babe.
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster,
We'll go huntin' coast to coast...er,
Honey, Baby mine.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

You've got buns and I've got a Toaster, Honey,
You've got buns and I've got a Toaster, Babe.
You've got buns and I've got a Toaster,
We'll go huntin' coast to coast...er,
Honey, Baby mine.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"PETA sure has it right" They found the fool who wrote that one face down in a tub of vegan tofu.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from -BrushDog1- wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Sheepless in Montana"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RunningBear wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Bred in a Toaster"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RunningBear wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

If you have a savings account I got a Toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

My Wife Got Lame and My Dog Left Me - I Cry Every Night (About my dog.}

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"A combination AK 57 oozie radar laser triple-barrel double-scoped heat-seeking shotgun."- 30 Point Buck

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

30 Point Buck

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

Benny's Toaster, Chuck Testa and.....Bacon!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Fat girl in the doublewide trailer"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nieke22 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

kiss me honey nothing makes me sick.

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)

from bigcat wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Is that a tent pole in your sleeping bag or are you just happy to see me?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Is that a grunt call in your pocket or are you just happy to bleet me?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Mommas pregnant, and I'm the Daddy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nieke22 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

kiss me honey nothing makes me sick.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Fat girl in the doublewide trailer"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

Benny's Toaster, Chuck Testa and.....Bacon!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

30 Point Buck

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"A combination AK 57 oozie radar laser triple-barrel double-scoped heat-seeking shotgun."- 30 Point Buck

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

My Wife Got Lame and My Dog Left Me - I Cry Every Night (About my dog.}

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RunningBear wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

If you have a savings account I got a Toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from RunningBear wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Bred in a Toaster"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from -BrushDog1- wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"Sheepless in Montana"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

"PETA sure has it right" They found the fool who wrote that one face down in a tub of vegan tofu.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

You've got buns and I've got a Toaster, Honey,
You've got buns and I've got a Toaster, Babe.
You've got buns and I've got a Toaster,
We'll go huntin' coast to coast...er,
Honey, Baby mine.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

(Commercially-available version)
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster, Honey,
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster, Babe.
You've got guns and I've got a Toaster,
We'll go huntin' coast to coast...er,
Honey, Baby mine.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

Don't bend over in the garden granny you know them taters got eyes!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 34 weeks ago

That buck I should be stalking is bedded-down with you ...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bradnchan wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"When you leave me walk out backwards so I'll think you're comin' in"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Pezgt77 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Honey, I lost my ring in the gut pile.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from lildodge_boy wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

take me in to the toaster.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Lost My Virginity In A Toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

ill always be yours Benny Spies

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Roadtrip...er driveway trip since we're taking the toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Roadtrip...er driveway trip since we're taking the toaster

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

We spent the night in the Toaster and now you've got a bun in the oven ... Oooooh Baaaaby.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nonicknamehere wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I now can kiss my credit cards goodbye!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Keith McNeil wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"I don't give a Schlitz about your Pabst, you'll always be Milwaukee's Best to me"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Me and You and a Cat Named Fluffy

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Appletiniville

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Monty Shorter wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My pappy said son your gonna drive me to drinkin'
if you stop racing that hot rod winnie...
Have you heard the story of the hot rod race
Where the winnies and Lincolns were settin' the pace?
That story is true I'm here to say
I was drivin' that toaster A.

It's got a winnie motor and it's really souped up
That toaster body makes it look like a pup
It's got eight cylinders and uses 'em all
Got overdrive, just won't stall

With a four barrel carb and dual exhausts
With four-eleven gears you can really get lost
Got safety tubes, but I ain't scared
The brakes are good, the tires fair...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from TM1 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I love her too dang much, for a sister.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

You put habaneros in the chili honey now I'm hot to trot for you.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from 23 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Your so pretty, I'd like to hang you on my wall,
I didn't use a gun, I didn't use calls
But baby I like the way you rub my..."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from 23 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"back, and the way you follow a track.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Not an original, but one that I thought deserved a mention: "I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"My house got forclosed, I lost my job, my wife left and took my best hunting dog, the only thing I have left is my Big Mouth Billy Bass"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I can remember a beautiful song from the'60's that for some reason I couldn't figure out never really made it. The name of the song was "Baby I Love You So !&%#&^% Much I Could Sh*t."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"I'm Jist a Ditch Digger Hankerin' to Fill Your Hole."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Big_8 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Readnekz r smart two!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Girl Fiddled Around On Me And Broke The Strings Of My Heart

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

My Wife Ran Off With Another Man, He Doesn't Know It, But He Is My Best Friend Now

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from mkorpal wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Blatz Splatz & Hairy Hatchet Wounds

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

Goin home there I'll drink myself to death as soon as I get my welfare check

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

There's a Deer In My Beer.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

The dear with the big racks go after the dough don't ya know.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

I'll build you your dream outhouse ifn'n ya'll let me out of the dawghouse.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 33 weeks ago

"Daddy shot Rudolph, so there won't be a christmas"

0 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)