|
|
December 09, 2011
Top Ten Excuses Your Buddy Uses For His Hunting Dog - 50
by Benny Spies
Sorry folks but this week I have to cut this one short. We’re out in the sticks of South Dakota trying to bowhunt deer, and it’s proving to be a tough task to get on film. Here’s the report thus far: three bucks within 35 yards, two of which were shooters and--as luck would have it--I needed them to take two more steps and it would have been blood on the arrow. I have to blame it on a tree branch. And by the way, we’ve had at least 30 does at 20 yards. Super cool footage! Back to the issue at hand: The Top Ten. We filled up at a gas station this afternoon and overheard a guy bragging up his hunting dog. By the looks of this lab/collie/dachshund mix, I’m throwing the BS flag. We’ve all had that day out with our buddy when his dog didn’t quite perform up to par. You know what I’m talking about… A mirror image of the first dog in Funny Farm that ran after the deer! The best part is every time I hear a different excuse. I’ve learned my lesson. From now on I walk the “other” side of the field! So, let me hear the Top Ten best excuses/lies you've heard from your buddy! Here’s mine: “He doesn’t like feathers in his mouth!” (This is the dog that runs out to the bird, picks it up, and then spits it out!) Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack. Top Ten Country Song Titles That Never Quite Made It 9.) from TM1: I love her too dang much, for a sister. 8) from Sven_Katur: We spent the night in the Toaster and now you've got a bun in the oven ... Oooooh Baaaaby. 7.) from Sven_Katur: That buck I should be stalking is bedded-down with you ... 6.) from Keith McNeil: "I don't give a Schlitz about your Pabst, you'll always be Milwaukee's Best to me" 5.) from -BrushDog1-: "Sheepless in Montana" 4.) from KodaBear: Me and You and a Cat Named Fluffy 3.) from trapper vic: Don't bend over in the garden granny you know them taters got eyes! 2.) from Augustheat: Is that a grunt call in your pocket or are you just happy to bleet me? 1.) from Pezgt77: Honey, I lost my ring in the gut pile. |
Visit Our Sister Sites at Bonnier Corporation
|
Outdoorlife.com is part of the Field & Stream Network, a division of Bonnier Corporation.
Copyright © 2013 Bonnier Corp. All Rights Reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
Comments (50)
Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!!
What can I say, my dog doesn't like you. Fetch your own bird!
because he's a cat you nitwit....
Wife made me get him fixed, but now whenever we go hunting he just kind of stares mournfully out into space...
I may not get quite as much game since I started hunting with a pair of Rottweilers, but I haven't had a single game warden check my permit either.
he used to be a great tracker, but then he took an arrow to the knee
Ever since old Buck participated at the vet's in an artificicial insemination, he won't hunt until you uh....you know!
I should have known. His momma was a shih tzu and his daddy was a seeing-eye-dog. He don't know whether to sh-t or go blind.
Oh yaa he’s the best coon dog I've ever owned. as the only thing the dog treed all night was a squirrel. oh well its only his first time out this year and I don’t know what happened he normally finds them in know time. I've seen him tree them a couple of times I just bet there are no coons around
My dog used to hunt with superstars,athletes and politicians, but ever since Dick Cheney shot him in the leg he can only swim in circles.
He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers.
Retriever? No dude, I said he was a good reliever! He can't find anything but he's the best at marking his territory.
Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings.
Well fellas, we're goin' to have to wrap it up here in a minute ... once he goes to the backstroke he aint got much left in the tank.
He's really a great hunting dog. He just has a little performance anxiety just like me when I have to use a public urinal.
My dog is a little distracted by your blaze orange. He's been that way ever since the incident with the bull!
You should have been here yesterday. We limited out in the first 45 minutes and Ol' Hank here flushed and retrieved every single one of them 20 roosters! Today he's still a little hung over is all!!
No, I don't own a Pointing Lab. He's not on point; he's just taking a dump!
She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one.
The only tail that dog'll chase after is his own!
Ever since we changed his name to 'Coach', all he does is sit on his haunches and bark!!
He won't fetch up anything that doesn't have a green head and orange feet, surprising because the vet said he is color blind.
He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises!
Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused.
Omniphobia ... Ornothopia ... Onocopia ... that thing that JM's dogs got ... Sparky has it so bad we almost lost him last year when Philadephia played Atlanta on Monday Night Football.
Ever since he watched Ol' Yeller, he won come near me when I have a gun.
His allergies must be really bad today ... let's give him another couple of minutes for that Claritin to kick in ...
He's an old college dog, all he does is sit around and drinks allday, the only thing he fetches is Natty Light! Sadly this is a true story of my yellow lab Howie, he would have been a good waterfowl dog, but to damn lazy and has a never ending case of swimmers ear!
I shoulda' taken those hair bows out earlier ... he's slippin' through the brambles nicely now.
My beagle was a rescue and trained by the other guy.
He may be a bit tired from dry-humpin' the decoy bag most of the nite ...
Just watched an episode with grouse and antelope hunting...but I'm confused. In some shots you are shooting a left handed rifle in others in miraculously becomes a righty. What's with that?
Regarding the dog: He thinks he's a cat.
Well she points good, retrieves alright, but she's blind in one eye, scared of her own shadow, and last but not least gun shy.
I've been told he may be the only pug retriever in the world ...
She's gun shy
Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat.
If I even mention the word hunting she turns into a bitch.
She loves to flush birds but,she's gun shy
"Ol' Copper here, he just ain't been the same since the incident with that old hawk. But, seein as how I ain't gotta take him in to have his nuts clipped now, check out what I bought with the vet-money I saved."
I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat.
I sent him away to be trained as flusher....now he won't leave the bathroom.
Well yeah, he is good swimmer/retriever. He just doesn't like it when the water is cold.
My dog was taught to hunt by PETA.
Yup, he tends to lose the sent after likkin' his Butt!
With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves!
When I'm not around, the wife spoils the crap out of the dog, so when I take him out in the field, he think he needs to have a soft pillow and a blanket.
He likes chasing fish better.
She has Ornithophobia(fear of birds).
he could of caught the rabbit if he did not stop to take a sh-t.
She does pretty good for a blind beagle
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)
Yup, he tends to lose the sent after likkin' his Butt!
No, I don't own a Pointing Lab. He's not on point; he's just taking a dump!
She does pretty good for a blind beagle
She has Ornithophobia(fear of birds).
When I'm not around, the wife spoils the crap out of the dog, so when I take him out in the field, he think he needs to have a soft pillow and a blanket.
With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves!
My dog was taught to hunt by PETA.
I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat.
She loves to flush birds but,she's gun shy
If I even mention the word hunting she turns into a bitch.
Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat.
She's gun shy
I've been told he may be the only pug retriever in the world ...
I shoulda' taken those hair bows out earlier ... he's slippin' through the brambles nicely now.
He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises!
Ever since we changed his name to 'Coach', all he does is sit on his haunches and bark!!
She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one.
Oh yaa he’s the best coon dog I've ever owned. as the only thing the dog treed all night was a squirrel. oh well its only his first time out this year and I don’t know what happened he normally finds them in know time. I've seen him tree them a couple of times I just bet there are no coons around
I should have known. His momma was a shih tzu and his daddy was a seeing-eye-dog. He don't know whether to sh-t or go blind.
he could of caught the rabbit if he did not stop to take a sh-t.
Well yeah, he is good swimmer/retriever. He just doesn't like it when the water is cold.
I sent him away to be trained as flusher....now he won't leave the bathroom.
"Ol' Copper here, he just ain't been the same since the incident with that old hawk. But, seein as how I ain't gotta take him in to have his nuts clipped now, check out what I bought with the vet-money I saved."
Well she points good, retrieves alright, but she's blind in one eye, scared of her own shadow, and last but not least gun shy.
Just watched an episode with grouse and antelope hunting...but I'm confused. In some shots you are shooting a left handed rifle in others in miraculously becomes a righty. What's with that?
Regarding the dog: He thinks he's a cat.
His allergies must be really bad today ... let's give him another couple of minutes for that Claritin to kick in ...
Ever since he watched Ol' Yeller, he won come near me when I have a gun.
Omniphobia ... Ornothopia ... Onocopia ... that thing that JM's dogs got ... Sparky has it so bad we almost lost him last year when Philadephia played Atlanta on Monday Night Football.
Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused.
He won't fetch up anything that doesn't have a green head and orange feet, surprising because the vet said he is color blind.
The only tail that dog'll chase after is his own!
You should have been here yesterday. We limited out in the first 45 minutes and Ol' Hank here flushed and retrieved every single one of them 20 roosters! Today he's still a little hung over is all!!
My dog is a little distracted by your blaze orange. He's been that way ever since the incident with the bull!
Retriever? No dude, I said he was a good reliever! He can't find anything but he's the best at marking his territory.
He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers.
My dog used to hunt with superstars,athletes and politicians, but ever since Dick Cheney shot him in the leg he can only swim in circles.
Ever since old Buck participated at the vet's in an artificicial insemination, he won't hunt until you uh....you know!
he used to be a great tracker, but then he took an arrow to the knee
Wife made me get him fixed, but now whenever we go hunting he just kind of stares mournfully out into space...
because he's a cat you nitwit....
What can I say, my dog doesn't like you. Fetch your own bird!
Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!!
He likes chasing fish better.
My beagle was a rescue and trained by the other guy.
He's an old college dog, all he does is sit around and drinks allday, the only thing he fetches is Natty Light! Sadly this is a true story of my yellow lab Howie, he would have been a good waterfowl dog, but to damn lazy and has a never ending case of swimmers ear!
Well fellas, we're goin' to have to wrap it up here in a minute ... once he goes to the backstroke he aint got much left in the tank.
Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings.
I may not get quite as much game since I started hunting with a pair of Rottweilers, but I haven't had a single game warden check my permit either.
He may be a bit tired from dry-humpin' the decoy bag most of the nite ...
He's really a great hunting dog. He just has a little performance anxiety just like me when I have to use a public urinal.
Post a Comment (200 characters or less)