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Top Ten Excuses Your Buddy Uses For His Hunting Dog

December 09, 2011
Top Ten Excuses Your Buddy Uses For His Hunting Dog - 50

Sorry folks but this week I have to cut this one short. We’re out in the sticks of South Dakota trying to bowhunt deer, and it’s proving to be a tough task to get on film. Here’s the report thus far: three bucks within 35 yards, two of which were shooters and--as luck would have it--I needed them to take two more steps and it would have been blood on the arrow. I have to blame it on a tree branch. And by the way, we’ve had at least 30 does at 20 yards. Super cool footage!

Back to the issue at hand: The Top Ten. We filled up at a gas station this afternoon and overheard a guy bragging up his hunting dog. By the looks of this lab/collie/dachshund mix, I’m throwing the BS flag. We’ve all had that day out with our buddy when his dog didn’t quite perform up to par. You know what I’m talking about… A mirror image of the first dog in Funny Farm that ran after the deer! The best part is every time I hear a different excuse. I’ve learned my lesson. From now on I walk the “other” side of the field! So, let me hear the Top Ten best excuses/lies you've heard from your buddy!

Here’s mine: “He doesn’t like feathers in his mouth!” (This is the dog that runs out to the bird, picks it up, and then spits it out!)

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.

Last week’s Winner

Top Ten Country Song Titles That Never Quite Made It

10.) from Johnnie: My Wife Ran Off With Another Man, He Doesn't Know It, But He Is My Best Friend Now

9.) from TM1: I love her too dang much, for a sister.

8) from Sven_Katur: We spent the night in the Toaster and now you've got a bun in the oven ... Oooooh Baaaaby.

7.) from Sven_Katur: That buck I should be stalking is bedded-down with you ...

6.) from Keith McNeil: "I don't give a Schlitz about your Pabst, you'll always be Milwaukee's Best to me"

5.) from -BrushDog1-: "Sheepless in Montana"

4.) from KodaBear: Me and You and a Cat Named Fluffy

3.) from trapper vic: Don't bend over in the garden granny you know them taters got eyes!

2.) from Augustheat: Is that a grunt call in your pocket or are you just happy to bleet me?

1.) from Pezgt77: Honey, I lost my ring in the gut pile.

Comments (50)

Top Rated
All Comments
from destreet wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derrek Sigler wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

What can I say, my dog doesn't like you. Fetch your own bird!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

because he's a cat you nitwit....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Wife made me get him fixed, but now whenever we go hunting he just kind of stares mournfully out into space...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bluetick47 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I may not get quite as much game since I started hunting with a pair of Rottweilers, but I haven't had a single game warden check my permit either.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

he used to be a great tracker, but then he took an arrow to the knee

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Ever since old Buck participated at the vet's in an artificicial insemination, he won't hunt until you uh....you know!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from stuckduck wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I should have known. His momma was a shih tzu and his daddy was a seeing-eye-dog. He don't know whether to sh-t or go blind.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Oh yaa he’s the best coon dog I've ever owned. as the only thing the dog treed all night was a squirrel. oh well its only his first time out this year and I don’t know what happened he normally finds them in know time. I've seen him tree them a couple of times I just bet there are no coons around

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

My dog used to hunt with superstars,athletes and politicians, but ever since Dick Cheney shot him in the leg he can only swim in circles.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from djohns13 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Retriever? No dude, I said he was a good reliever! He can't find anything but he's the best at marking his territory.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well fellas, we're goin' to have to wrap it up here in a minute ... once he goes to the backstroke he aint got much left in the tank.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's really a great hunting dog. He just has a little performance anxiety just like me when I have to use a public urinal.

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My dog is a little distracted by your blaze orange. He's been that way ever since the incident with the bull!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

You should have been here yesterday. We limited out in the first 45 minutes and Ol' Hank here flushed and retrieved every single one of them 20 roosters! Today he's still a little hung over is all!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

No, I don't own a Pointing Lab. He's not on point; he's just taking a dump!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Bartley wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

The only tail that dog'll chase after is his own!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since we changed his name to 'Coach', all he does is sit on his haunches and bark!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He won't fetch up anything that doesn't have a green head and orange feet, surprising because the vet said he is color blind.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bearcreeksfarm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Omniphobia ... Ornothopia ... Onocopia ... that thing that JM's dogs got ... Sparky has it so bad we almost lost him last year when Philadephia played Atlanta on Monday Night Football.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since he watched Ol' Yeller, he won come near me when I have a gun.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

His allergies must be really bad today ... let's give him another couple of minutes for that Claritin to kick in ...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's an old college dog, all he does is sit around and drinks allday, the only thing he fetches is Natty Light! Sadly this is a true story of my yellow lab Howie, he would have been a good waterfowl dog, but to damn lazy and has a never ending case of swimmers ear!

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I shoulda' taken those hair bows out earlier ... he's slippin' through the brambles nicely now.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jcarlin wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My beagle was a rescue and trained by the other guy.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He may be a bit tired from dry-humpin' the decoy bag most of the nite ...

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Stevet wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Just watched an episode with grouse and antelope hunting...but I'm confused. In some shots you are shooting a left handed rifle in others in miraculously becomes a righty. What's with that?

Regarding the dog: He thinks he's a cat.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well she points good, retrieves alright, but she's blind in one eye, scared of her own shadow, and last but not least gun shy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I've been told he may be the only pug retriever in the world ...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from youngwoodsman wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She's gun shy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

If I even mention the word hunting she turns into a bitch.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from youngwoodsman wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She loves to flush birds but,she's gun shy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from -BrushDog1- wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

"Ol' Copper here, he just ain't been the same since the incident with that old hawk. But, seein as how I ain't gotta take him in to have his nuts clipped now, check out what I bought with the vet-money I saved."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I sent him away to be trained as flusher....now he won't leave the bathroom.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well yeah, he is good swimmer/retriever. He just doesn't like it when the water is cold.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My dog was taught to hunt by PETA.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Yup, he tends to lose the sent after likkin' his Butt!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

When I'm not around, the wife spoils the crap out of the dog, so when I take him out in the field, he think he needs to have a soft pillow and a blanket.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He likes chasing fish better.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She has Ornithophobia(fear of birds).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nieke22 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

he could of caught the rabbit if he did not stop to take a sh-t.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from floridahunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She does pretty good for a blind beagle

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)

from trapper vic wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Yup, he tends to lose the sent after likkin' his Butt!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

No, I don't own a Pointing Lab. He's not on point; he's just taking a dump!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from floridahunter wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She does pretty good for a blind beagle

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She has Ornithophobia(fear of birds).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

When I'm not around, the wife spoils the crap out of the dog, so when I take him out in the field, he think he needs to have a soft pillow and a blanket.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

With him only having 3 legs, its hard for him to make long water retrieves!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My dog was taught to hunt by PETA.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I wanted a bird dog but my wife thought it would be better if we got a cat.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from youngwoodsman wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She loves to flush birds but,she's gun shy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

If I even mention the word hunting she turns into a bitch.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since he got into my V!agra all he chases is raccoons in heat.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from youngwoodsman wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She's gun shy

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I've been told he may be the only pug retriever in the world ...

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I shoulda' taken those hair bows out earlier ... he's slippin' through the brambles nicely now.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bearcreeksfarm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's not gun shy, he just don't like loud noises!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since we changed his name to 'Coach', all he does is sit on his haunches and bark!!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Mike Bartley wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

She usually holds point really well. Your just such a lousy shot she figures she has a better chance of running them down than you do of hitting one.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Oh yaa he’s the best coon dog I've ever owned. as the only thing the dog treed all night was a squirrel. oh well its only his first time out this year and I don’t know what happened he normally finds them in know time. I've seen him tree them a couple of times I just bet there are no coons around

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from stuckduck wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I should have known. His momma was a shih tzu and his daddy was a seeing-eye-dog. He don't know whether to sh-t or go blind.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from nieke22 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

he could of caught the rabbit if he did not stop to take a sh-t.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Johnnie wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well yeah, he is good swimmer/retriever. He just doesn't like it when the water is cold.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

I sent him away to be trained as flusher....now he won't leave the bathroom.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from -BrushDog1- wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

"Ol' Copper here, he just ain't been the same since the incident with that old hawk. But, seein as how I ain't gotta take him in to have his nuts clipped now, check out what I bought with the vet-money I saved."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well she points good, retrieves alright, but she's blind in one eye, scared of her own shadow, and last but not least gun shy.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Stevet wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Just watched an episode with grouse and antelope hunting...but I'm confused. In some shots you are shooting a left handed rifle in others in miraculously becomes a righty. What's with that?

Regarding the dog: He thinks he's a cat.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

His allergies must be really bad today ... let's give him another couple of minutes for that Claritin to kick in ...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Ever since he watched Ol' Yeller, he won come near me when I have a gun.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Omniphobia ... Ornothopia ... Onocopia ... that thing that JM's dogs got ... Sparky has it so bad we almost lost him last year when Philadephia played Atlanta on Monday Night Football.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Just let him finish on your leg, after that he'll be able to concentrate on the birds and he'll be much more focused.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He won't fetch up anything that doesn't have a green head and orange feet, surprising because the vet said he is color blind.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

The only tail that dog'll chase after is his own!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

You should have been here yesterday. We limited out in the first 45 minutes and Ol' Hank here flushed and retrieved every single one of them 20 roosters! Today he's still a little hung over is all!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My dog is a little distracted by your blaze orange. He's been that way ever since the incident with the bull!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from djohns13 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Retriever? No dude, I said he was a good reliever! He can't find anything but he's the best at marking his territory.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from KodaBear wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He retrieves anything, except if it has feathers.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from nearlynormalnorman wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

My dog used to hunt with superstars,athletes and politicians, but ever since Dick Cheney shot him in the leg he can only swim in circles.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Ever since old Buck participated at the vet's in an artificicial insemination, he won't hunt until you uh....you know!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

he used to be a great tracker, but then he took an arrow to the knee

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Wife made me get him fixed, but now whenever we go hunting he just kind of stares mournfully out into space...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

because he's a cat you nitwit....

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derrek Sigler wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

What can I say, my dog doesn't like you. Fetch your own bird!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from destreet wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

Well, if you could do that, you wouldn't leave your kennel either!!!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fishman24 wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He likes chasing fish better.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from jcarlin wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

My beagle was a rescue and trained by the other guy.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's an old college dog, all he does is sit around and drinks allday, the only thing he fetches is Natty Light! Sadly this is a true story of my yellow lab Howie, he would have been a good waterfowl dog, but to damn lazy and has a never ending case of swimmers ear!

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Well fellas, we're goin' to have to wrap it up here in a minute ... once he goes to the backstroke he aint got much left in the tank.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

Dang Charles, the way you're shootin' it doesn't matter what kind of retriever he is ... I'm starting to think I woulda been better off training him to pick up shell casings.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Bluetick47 wrote 2 years 30 weeks ago

I may not get quite as much game since I started hunting with a pair of Rottweilers, but I haven't had a single game warden check my permit either.

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Sven_Katur wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He may be a bit tired from dry-humpin' the decoy bag most of the nite ...

-2 Good Comment? | | Report
from kettlecorn wrote 2 years 31 weeks ago

He's really a great hunting dog. He just has a little performance anxiety just like me when I have to use a public urinal.

-2 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)

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