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Top Ten Excuses Heard By Your Local Game Warden

January 13, 2012
Top Ten Excuses Heard By Your Local Game Warden - 66

Most of our hunting seasons have closed, are closing or are still in full swing, lucky for you. By now I can pretty much guarantee that most of the wardens have heard their fair share of classic excuses. Every time I’m checked--knowing that I’m legal--as he begins checking my gun and asking questions, I still get that nervous feeling.

I think to myself, “What did I forget to do?” Why do we get this feeling? It’s the same when we get pulled over by the police or when we got caught with our hand in the cookie jar. Most likely, there’s an excuse of some sort that follows.

I’m sure a few of you out there have had a run in or two, or a close friend of yours has been around the block a few times, during which a plethora of jabbering excuses were blabbered out. “Ah well ah, I guess I didn’t know the plug was out of the shotgun. I borrowed it from a buddy.” Followed up by, “I swear I didn’t know.” “Just ask Steve, he’ll tell ya!” I’ve heard some good backtracking myself, and I laugh every time! So, now’s a great time to let the cat out of the bag, and tell you or your “buddy’s” classic game warden, “I didn’t do it” backtracking lines. Let’s hear ya!

Here’s mine: “If Tim Tebow can do it, I can do it!”

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.

Last week’s Winner

Top Ten Things to Do in the Goose Pit

10.) from BubbaK: Call your buddies who are at work, tell them you haven't seen any geese, that it's cold, you're hungry, thirsty, and tired, and that you wouldn't trade one second of your time there for a full day at work!

9.) from Drew Stieben: If you smoke it, they will come!

8.) from Casey Walker: With the lack of snow and cold up in the Dakotas our routine goes like this. 6 am arrive at pit set up decoys. 6:45 brew first pot of coffee. 7 am discuss if decoys are set right. 7:05 readjust decoys. 7:10 yank coffee pot off stove because it is boiling over. Watch sun coming up until 8. 8 am watch geese leave roast and fly south of river. (opposite direction of our pit) 9 am cook breakfast. 9:45 Buddy runs 300 yards to his "tree" to do his business. (you can set your grandpa's best time piece by it). 10 am text buddies down the river to see if they have shot anything knowing the answer. Surf web on your phone tell battery dies. From 11 to 3 cuss lack of cold weather and snow for lack of geese. 4 pm pick up decoys as 3 flocks of geese circle our field right at dark. Head to the cabin have a steak and a few adult beverages and repeat the next day. We have had so much idle time this season that nobody falls for the usual gags.

7.) from Fishman24: You and your buddy each buy monster truck remote control cars and spray paint them camo. When nothings happening, turn them on and let them rip around in the field. It's fun and makes the time fly. Plus you can stop them at a moments notice just in case something really does fly by.

6.) from DSMbirddog: Count your toes and fingers as the turn white then black from frostbite.

5.) from Hotwheels: True story from Maryland’s Eastern Shore: Based on the aroma of his farts and belches, try to determine exactly what Jake (the yellow Lab) has been eating out of the garbage can. Prolonged hang time in the confines of a pit blind allows for detailed olfactory analysis.

4.) from Gerald Cook: I like to play the Blame Game: I blame my 12-year-old son for the binocs I forgot at home, the coffee thermos I forgot in my truck, and the calls I lost somewhere in-between. Repeat the process as boredom requires. He'll appreciate it some day.

3.) from bigcat: Wait for first person to fall asleep, place old motel card key and pair of thong underwear in pocket.

2.) from CrazyWalsh81: You know how on a blue bird day like that you always see birds right as or right after you pack up to leave. Pull the fake pack up and leave. Stand up stretch and say loudly, "Well time to leave no birds around here" and everyone else needs to follow suit. Empty your guns, make some noise of packing bags, send someone off to get the truck, or actually leave. Then reload sit and wait 5 minutes, Birds will appear(I swear). 40% of the time it works all the time.

1.) from grantorrin: We have a mannequin head that my sister got in hair school. The hair is all chopped up and someone drew big alien eyes on it a long time ago. When things get slow in the goose pit, I sneak it out of my pack, lay it on the ground face up and put some loose dirt over it. Then I nudge my buddy and say, "What on earth do you think that is?" He'll brush the dirt off and get a surprise he won't soon forget. Hearing grown men scream never gets old. I've found that the dummy head works really well for slow ice fishing days, too.

Comments (66)

Top Rated
All Comments
from trudeau wrote 1 year 47 weeks ago

It got hit by a car and i was putting it out of its misery.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from BuckshotandBear wrote 2 years 24 weeks ago

warden-your poachen deer
me-no im not
wadern-then whats that buck doin on ur shoulders
me-AH!GET IT OFF!GET IT OFF!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Adam Mauck wrote 2 years 24 weeks ago

Not a legal species? Well my Grandfather taught me to identify species with the bird in your hand.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

well you see officer we're coming up with a new sport its called shotfishing you just shoot those asian carp when they jump at ya with a shotgun I thought since we was using steel shot I'd be fine

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from trapper vic wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

I know the limit is 12", my husband told me that's 12"!!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

But officer, I read on the internet it's legal to shoot deer over corn at night with a light in June so it must be true.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

I swear Mr. Warden, I wasn't runnin' away from you cause I did somthin' wrong...you see years ago my wife run off with a Warden who looked a bit like yerself...I just thought you were trying to bringer her back to me.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

"The deer took my gun and shot itself, im just rushing it to the vet!"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

somewhat unrelated but a true story: my uncle, aunt, and little cousin were fishing with his my uncles parents in arkansas having only a texas licence. first fish he catches just to mess with his dad he yells to my cousin "hey patrich, look at daddys illegal bass!" meanwhile his dad is yelling back "shut up, what are you doing" and the sad part... my uncle is a cop

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

the deer were shooting at me it was just self defence

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A guy was throwing quarter sticks of dynamite into the fishing hole, the game warden pulls up and says "don't you know its illegal to dynamite fish, what have you got to say for yourself". The guy calmly lit another stick, tossed it to the game warden and said "You gonna talk or are you gonna to fish?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A guy had one pheasant too many in his truck. Tooling along eating peanuts he is stopped by the game warden. Thinking quickly he stuffed a bird down inside his bibs. The bird turned out not to be dead and as the game warden questioned him, asked "Whats that sticking out of your fly? Thinking quickly the guy said, I went to restroom forgot to zip up I must be accidentally exposing myself! Well said the game warden you just accidentally ate a peanut off the seat!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I swear Mr. Warden Sir, I didn't know it was a swan. It was flying in a flock of snow geese, and even though I knew something looked odd about the bird being 3 times the size of any of the other birds, I just thought it was a snow goose on steroids!

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fraid Knot26 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

While driving around South Dakota with my grandpa in September he would always say “Look there, that’s not a pheasant, that’s a sooner. The sooner you shoot em the better they taste!” We always got a good laugh! So I am sure it would work on a Conservation Officer.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon Bubba carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked Bubba, "Where did you get that turkey?"

Bubba replied, "What turkey?"

The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."

Bubba looked down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"

The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so what ever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"

Bubba said, "I guess I'll just kiss his azz and let him go!"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

cross my heart....the second buck must have died from shock when the one next to it got hit(didn't say it wasn't a Powershock)...

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I hope I don't have too many birds in there---what is the limit on robins, anyhow?

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Poaching!?! the Hell you say, I'm not poaching. I'm just an actor portraying a poacher on Discovery..."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Brittany Morey wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"My grandpa is old and sick and the only thing he can eat right now is squirrel."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I swear the buck just jumped in the bed of my truck. Im just as shocked as you!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hurckles wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

it was coming right at me!!!!

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JKANSAS wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

......I was just helping the sheep over the fence!

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from destreet wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Well.....we are members of the Sierra Club....

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Bass Pro Shops could have at least given a rule book and warned me when i bought my rifle and all that corn from them. Besides officer I aint much into reading books.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bendigo78 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Brock Lesner said it was legal. Who do I make the check out too?

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from max klepper wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was trying to spotlight the corn to see how it was much it had grown and then my gun slipped out of its case and fired which coincidentally hit a deer right between it's eyes...faulty gun cases these days!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Honest! The night vision goggles are just so I can find the trail after sunset. I would NEVER think of using them to hunt with.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Seriously? We're really not allowed to use tracer rounds?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from rocco89815 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Am I being Punk'd?"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I'm sorry warden but I think it was suicide...he even left a note. "I can't handle the ridicule any more..I thought I was a buck but everyone keeps making fun of my small rack."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from drake_whisperer wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I must have forgot about daylight savings? I thought it looked a little dark....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Andy Hahn wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Game laws of the state of Alabama? You mean we ain't in South Carolina???"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from kolt30 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Ooooooooh, I though ill-eagle was a sick bird.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

no that whiskey's not for me I heard its a good deer attractant

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

no officer I wasn't running from you didn't you see that bear

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matthew Terence... wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Officer, i swear my gun accidentally went off when i was reaching for my beer.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

hey, pull my finger

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Lady takes husbands row boat out into a quiet bay one sunny afternoon and kicks back to read a book. A little while later the game warden shows up and pulls along side the woman and asks to see the womans license. "Why I don't have one and I'm just reading a book." the woman replys.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ticket you because you have fishing gear in the boat and I have to believe that is your intention." says the warden.

"If you ticket me, I'll sue for sexual assault." the woman responds.

"What?" asks a bewildered game warden.

"That's right. You have all the gear in your boat and I have to believe that is your intention." counters the woman.

"Isn't this a wonderful day to float around and enjoy a good book. Have a great afternoon."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Onistly Occifer, I ain't as think as you drunk as I am."

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

While dragging out a deer in the dead of night, the 1st hunting buddy says: "I'm sure glad there are 6 of us to drag out this deer we just shot."

2nd hunting buddy says:" There are only 5 of us. Me, you, Fred, Bob, and Ted."

Game warden says "I'm the 6th one. Problem is, there shouldn't be anyone dragging this deer out tonight

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from dawgtired wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Are you telling me I have to buy one of those license thingys EVERY year?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fraid Knot26 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A game warden pulled into a farmyard in northern MN. He found a man dressing a bear that was hanging in a tree. After a period of brief questioning of the hunter, the officer noticed three bullet holes in the bear. One in the each palm and the third right between the eyes, the officer asked the man “So, why would you shoot a bear in the front paws and between the eyes”? The hunter replied “Well, when I lit him up with the spotlight he covered his eyes and shot him”!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from CrazyWalsh81 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

But Sir- This is the way Benny Spies does it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Clayton Haas wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Those empty cans of Coors light are used as signal mirrors. You know in case of an emergency.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was spotlighting deer just for fun, but when I saw that 12 pointer limping I thought it was my moral duty to put him down.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was checking for my plug and lost my spring... Call me ol' single shot

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

What the heck do I need a plug for? I can count to 3!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I couldn't find my plug so I loaded a couple empties

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from captjim wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

But officer, I'm a conservation director.

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

That pile of corn was for birds and squirrels only--I had to shoot the deer to keep them from eating it up.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

oh no you got it all wrong, this gun is for protection, a buddy of mine got mugged by an eight point out here, same one thats in the bed of my truck, now if you'll excuse me i have to return his wallet

-1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Casey Walker wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Ever hear of don't ask don't tell?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

The way these regulations are written, you hafta be a LAWYER to understand them, and I AIN'T a LAWYER!!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

But my dad always told me "beaver" hunting was a year round thing.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from cowboy wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I thought they were more "guidelines" than actual laws.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

Hunting? nah i was just sighting my buddy's gun in

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from bass bomber wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in the Piedmont area of
North Carolina recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was
leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch
those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none
of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet
fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and
let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump
right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home..'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden.. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH,' replied the warden!

'What fish?,' replied the redneck

+8 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I only have one rabbit. All those others are throwing the wake, so show some respect.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I swear that eight point had a knife

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from JakeT_little.Racks wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

No, I swear, that hole is from a REALLY big broad head, not a slug!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from floridahunter wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

It was coming straight at me I thought it was Rabid! (Fox squirrel)

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I must have misread the sunrise/sunset chart I thought it said sunset was at 7:30pm on Nov. 30.

I swear the tag fell of the deer as I was dragging it out of the woods!

This came directly from the Game Warden: Apparently a guy shot a deer out of gun season with a gun and proceeded to load a xbow and shoot the deer that lies in the back of his truck. Well the Game Warden was randomly checking people as they came to check in deer at the check-in station and he was one of the lucky ones. The game warden said she tried to move the deer that had the xbow bolt still in it but it was stuck to the bed of the truck. This idiot shot through the deer into the bed of the truck!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MazPower wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

It's not mine I swear! It's my cousins, I'm holding it for him!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

He did it (pointing to the dog).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

Well officer...It's only a violation if you read the regulation "literally" (used with air quotes).

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

"What the hell, how did that get there?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report

Post a Comment (200 characters or less)

from bass bomber wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in the Piedmont area of
North Carolina recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was
leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch
those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none
of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet
fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and
let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump
right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home..'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden.. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited.
After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH,' replied the warden!

'What fish?,' replied the redneck

+8 Good Comment? | | Report
from JKANSAS wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

......I was just helping the sheep over the fence!

+5 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I swear that eight point had a knife

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from pineywoods wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

That pile of corn was for birds and squirrels only--I had to shoot the deer to keep them from eating it up.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Fraid Knot26 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A game warden pulled into a farmyard in northern MN. He found a man dressing a bear that was hanging in a tree. After a period of brief questioning of the hunter, the officer noticed three bullet holes in the bear. One in the each palm and the third right between the eyes, the officer asked the man “So, why would you shoot a bear in the front paws and between the eyes”? The hunter replied “Well, when I lit him up with the spotlight he covered his eyes and shot him”!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Lady takes husbands row boat out into a quiet bay one sunny afternoon and kicks back to read a book. A little while later the game warden shows up and pulls along side the woman and asks to see the womans license. "Why I don't have one and I'm just reading a book." the woman replys.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ticket you because you have fishing gear in the boat and I have to believe that is your intention." says the warden.

"If you ticket me, I'll sue for sexual assault." the woman responds.

"What?" asks a bewildered game warden.

"That's right. You have all the gear in your boat and I have to believe that is your intention." counters the woman.

"Isn't this a wonderful day to float around and enjoy a good book. Have a great afternoon."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

no that whiskey's not for me I heard its a good deer attractant

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from max klepper wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was trying to spotlight the corn to see how it was much it had grown and then my gun slipped out of its case and fired which coincidentally hit a deer right between it's eyes...faulty gun cases these days!

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Buckshott00 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Poaching!?! the Hell you say, I'm not poaching. I'm just an actor portraying a poacher on Discovery..."

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

"The deer took my gun and shot itself, im just rushing it to the vet!"

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from Augustheat wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

I swear Mr. Warden, I wasn't runnin' away from you cause I did somthin' wrong...you see years ago my wife run off with a Warden who looked a bit like yerself...I just thought you were trying to bringer her back to me.

+3 Good Comment? | | Report
from MazPower wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

It's not mine I swear! It's my cousins, I'm holding it for him!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Dcast wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I must have misread the sunrise/sunset chart I thought it said sunset was at 7:30pm on Nov. 30.

I swear the tag fell of the deer as I was dragging it out of the woods!

This came directly from the Game Warden: Apparently a guy shot a deer out of gun season with a gun and proceeded to load a xbow and shoot the deer that lies in the back of his truck. Well the Game Warden was randomly checking people as they came to check in deer at the check-in station and he was one of the lucky ones. The game warden said she tried to move the deer that had the xbow bolt still in it but it was stuck to the bed of the truck. This idiot shot through the deer into the bed of the truck!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

But my dad always told me "beaver" hunting was a year round thing.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Montanagyrene wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

The way these regulations are written, you hafta be a LAWYER to understand them, and I AIN'T a LAWYER!!!

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Casey Walker wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Ever hear of don't ask don't tell?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from dawgtired wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Are you telling me I have to buy one of those license thingys EVERY year?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

While dragging out a deer in the dead of night, the 1st hunting buddy says: "I'm sure glad there are 6 of us to drag out this deer we just shot."

2nd hunting buddy says:" There are only 5 of us. Me, you, Fred, Bob, and Ted."

Game warden says "I'm the 6th one. Problem is, there shouldn't be anyone dragging this deer out tonight

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matthew Terence... wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Officer, i swear my gun accidentally went off when i was reaching for my beer.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

no officer I wasn't running from you didn't you see that bear

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from drake_whisperer wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I must have forgot about daylight savings? I thought it looked a little dark....

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Seriously? We're really not allowed to use tracer rounds?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from wvu592 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Honest! The night vision goggles are just so I can find the trail after sunset. I would NEVER think of using them to hunt with.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Brittany Morey wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"My grandpa is old and sick and the only thing he can eat right now is squirrel."

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from bigcat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A guy was throwing quarter sticks of dynamite into the fishing hole, the game warden pulls up and says "don't you know its illegal to dynamite fish, what have you got to say for yourself". The guy calmly lit another stick, tossed it to the game warden and said "You gonna talk or are you gonna to fish?

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

somewhat unrelated but a true story: my uncle, aunt, and little cousin were fishing with his my uncles parents in arkansas having only a texas licence. first fish he catches just to mess with his dad he yells to my cousin "hey patrich, look at daddys illegal bass!" meanwhile his dad is yelling back "shut up, what are you doing" and the sad part... my uncle is a cop

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from Deadeye.remington742 wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

well you see officer we're coming up with a new sport its called shotfishing you just shoot those asian carp when they jump at ya with a shotgun I thought since we was using steel shot I'd be fine

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

"What the hell, how did that get there?"

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from twa32 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

He did it (pointing to the dog).

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JakeT_little.Racks wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

No, I swear, that hole is from a REALLY big broad head, not a slug!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from ishipley wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I only have one rabbit. All those others are throwing the wake, so show some respect.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

Hunting? nah i was just sighting my buddy's gun in

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from cowboy wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

I thought they were more "guidelines" than actual laws.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I couldn't find my plug so I loaded a couple empties

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

What the heck do I need a plug for? I can count to 3!

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was spotlighting deer just for fun, but when I saw that 12 pointer limping I thought it was my moral duty to put him down.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from CrazyWalsh81 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

But Sir- This is the way Benny Spies does it.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from Hward3 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Bass Pro Shops could have at least given a rule book and warned me when i bought my rifle and all that corn from them. Besides officer I aint much into reading books.

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from destreet wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Well.....we are members of the Sierra Club....

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from alwaysWRIGHT wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I swear the buck just jumped in the bed of my truck. Im just as shocked as you!

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from pineywoods wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I hope I don't have too many birds in there---what is the limit on robins, anyhow?

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from captjim wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

But officer, I read on the internet it's legal to shoot deer over corn at night with a light in June so it must be true.

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from Adam Mauck wrote 2 years 24 weeks ago

Not a legal species? Well my Grandfather taught me to identify species with the bird in your hand.

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from twa32 wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

Well officer...It's only a violation if you read the regulation "literally" (used with air quotes).

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from floridahunter wrote 2 years 28 weeks ago

It was coming straight at me I thought it was Rabid! (Fox squirrel)

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from captjim wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

But officer, I'm a conservation director.

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from Derek Bryant wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I was checking for my plug and lost my spring... Call me ol' single shot

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from Clayton Haas wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Those empty cans of Coors light are used as signal mirrors. You know in case of an emergency.

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from marksman wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Onistly Occifer, I ain't as think as you drunk as I am."

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from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

hey, pull my finger

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from kolt30 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Ooooooooh, I though ill-eagle was a sick bird.

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from Andy Hahn wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Game laws of the state of Alabama? You mean we ain't in South Carolina???"

0 Good Comment? | | Report
from Matt Eckholm wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I'm sorry warden but I think it was suicide...he even left a note. "I can't handle the ridicule any more..I thought I was a buck but everyone keeps making fun of my small rack."

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from rocco89815 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

"Am I being Punk'd?"

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from bendigo78 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

Brock Lesner said it was legal. Who do I make the check out too?

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from Augustheat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

cross my heart....the second buck must have died from shock when the one next to it got hit(didn't say it wasn't a Powershock)...

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from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon Bubba carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked Bubba, "Where did you get that turkey?"

Bubba replied, "What turkey?"

The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."

Bubba looked down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"

The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so what ever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"

Bubba said, "I guess I'll just kiss his azz and let him go!"

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from Fraid Knot26 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

While driving around South Dakota with my grandpa in September he would always say “Look there, that’s not a pheasant, that’s a sooner. The sooner you shoot em the better they taste!” We always got a good laugh! So I am sure it would work on a Conservation Officer.

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from jhartwig24 wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

I swear Mr. Warden Sir, I didn't know it was a swan. It was flying in a flock of snow geese, and even though I knew something looked odd about the bird being 3 times the size of any of the other birds, I just thought it was a snow goose on steroids!

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from bigcat wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

A guy had one pheasant too many in his truck. Tooling along eating peanuts he is stopped by the game warden. Thinking quickly he stuffed a bird down inside his bibs. The bird turned out not to be dead and as the game warden questioned him, asked "Whats that sticking out of your fly? Thinking quickly the guy said, I went to restroom forgot to zip up I must be accidentally exposing myself! Well said the game warden you just accidentally ate a peanut off the seat!

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from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

the deer were shooting at me it was just self defence

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from trapper vic wrote 2 years 26 weeks ago

I know the limit is 12", my husband told me that's 12"!!

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from BuckshotandBear wrote 2 years 24 weeks ago

warden-your poachen deer
me-no im not
wadern-then whats that buck doin on ur shoulders
me-AH!GET IT OFF!GET IT OFF!

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from trudeau wrote 1 year 47 weeks ago

It got hit by a car and i was putting it out of its misery.

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from Cabe Chaffin wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

oh no you got it all wrong, this gun is for protection, a buddy of mine got mugged by an eight point out here, same one thats in the bed of my truck, now if you'll excuse me i have to return his wallet

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from Hurckles wrote 2 years 27 weeks ago

it was coming right at me!!!!

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