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Editor's Choice

OUTDOOR JOKES

Hey guys,heard this one today thought I'd pass it along,if anyone knows any good outdoor based jokes lets share em...

A woman goes to a sporting goods store to buy a rod and reel for her son's birthday.She grabs one and approachs the clerk,who's wearing dark sunglasses.
"Can you tell me about this rod and reel?" she asks.
"Ma'am,I'm completely blind",he replies."But if you drop it on the countertop,I'll tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She drops the rod on the countertop.
"Thats a six foot medium action graphite rod with a Shimano spinning reel spooled with 10 pound test line",the clerk declares."Its on sale this week for $20."
"I'll take it!" the woman exclaims.She opens her purse,and her credit card falls to the floor.The woman bends down to pick it up and accidently lets one rip.She's embarrassed but decides not to draw attention to it when the blind man doesn't react
The clerk rings her up and says,"That will be $35 please"
"Didn't you just tell me it was on sale for $20?" asks the baffled woman.
"The rod and reel is $20," the clerk replies,"but the duck call is $10, and the catfish stinkbait costs $5."

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from JM wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

laugh*

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from JM wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

That makes me think of when a girl calls a guy a stud. Makes me laigh every time.

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from charlie elk wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

I became confused when I heard the word 'Service' used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

Those are not things I usually associate 'Service' with.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

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from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge grizzly bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear."

"I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

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from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him "get out of here".
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"

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from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I didn't know where that joke was headed until after she "let it rip" very good Big Jake. Wife said ladies don't fart...lol

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from JM wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Glad she liked it Smitty. Found it when I was trying to catch myself up on the series before going to the movie on Friday.

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from Smitty18 wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Showed my mom the Holmes and Watson joke and she cant stop laughing. I dont think i have ever seen her laugh this much. Thanks for the amusement JM!
Smitty18

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from JM wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

"Three Men And A Baby" - What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back without catching anything.

After having good, hearty meal for dinner, they laid themselves down inside their tent for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, after hearing a nighttime owl begin hooting a strange call, Detective Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you, my good boy?"

Watson then pondered for a moment...

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are billions of stars and galaxies and potentially millions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo, good news for pisces. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three am. Theologically, I can see that God is All Powerful; and that we are small and insignificant in comparision to the Divine Powers that rule the Universe. And, meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow from the lack of cloud coverage."

Then Dr. Watson follows up his incredibly thorough answer with this:

"Why? What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent."

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Thanks guys, if ya know any good ones lets hear em.

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from Smitty18 wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Haha yeah thats a pretty good one! Kinda makes me think of kody and his yoga farts.

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from charlie elk wrote 2 years 19 weeks ago

LOL that is a good one Big Jake.
later,
charlie

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from charlie elk wrote 2 years 19 weeks ago

LOL that is a good one Big Jake.
later,
charlie

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from Smitty18 wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Haha yeah thats a pretty good one! Kinda makes me think of kody and his yoga farts.

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from bigjake wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Thanks guys, if ya know any good ones lets hear em.

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from JM wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

"Three Men And A Baby" - What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back without catching anything.

After having good, hearty meal for dinner, they laid themselves down inside their tent for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, after hearing a nighttime owl begin hooting a strange call, Detective Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".

Watson said: "I see a fantastic panorama of countless stars".

Holmes: "And what does that tell you, my good boy?"

Watson then pondered for a moment...

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are billions of stars and galaxies and potentially millions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo, good news for pisces. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three am. Theologically, I can see that God is All Powerful; and that we are small and insignificant in comparision to the Divine Powers that rule the Universe. And, meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow from the lack of cloud coverage."

Then Dr. Watson follows up his incredibly thorough answer with this:

"Why? What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a moment then spoke: "Someone has stolen our tent."

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from Smitty18 wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Showed my mom the Holmes and Watson joke and she cant stop laughing. I dont think i have ever seen her laugh this much. Thanks for the amusement JM!
Smitty18

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from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

I didn't know where that joke was headed until after she "let it rip" very good Big Jake. Wife said ladies don't fart...lol

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good lumberjack.
The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks' door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him "get out of here".
"Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the skinny man.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the lumberjack. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The skinny man headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the lumberjack's door. "I cut the tree down," said the man.
The lumberjack couldn't believe his eyes and said, "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the puny man.
"You mean the Sahara Desert," said the lumberjack.
The little man laughed and answered back, "Oh sure, that's what they call it now!"

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from charlie elk wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

I became confused when I heard the word 'Service' used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

Those are not things I usually associate 'Service' with.
But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows. BAM !!! It all came into focus.
Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

+2 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 18 weeks ago

Glad she liked it Smitty. Found it when I was trying to catch myself up on the series before going to the movie on Friday.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from MOOSE wrote 2 years 9 weeks ago

Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge grizzly bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.

The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.

The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear."

"I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you."

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

That makes me think of when a girl calls a guy a stud. Makes me laigh every time.

+1 Good Comment? | | Report
from JM wrote 2 years 4 weeks ago

laugh*

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