Just Suck That Hair Right Off Your Dog

A few weeks ago I explored the idea of utilizing my dog Stoney's shed hair to make a sweater (read the story here). But the more I thought about it, the more I found the idea to be…uh…creepy as hell. I mean, think about it: why would I want an item of clothing, or a blanket, made from my dear pet's waste? What's next? Making drink coasters from my kids' sloughed off skin?

"Nice drink coasters Gayne. What are they, leather?"

"Yeah, my daughter had a pretty bad sunburn last week. Her skin just kept peeling off."

With the idea of "puppy sweaters" put to bed, I've moved on in my seemingly never-ending quest to deal with my Lab's persistent shedding. My latest discovery involves a $70 vacuum tool aptly named the Dyson Groom. The Groom is basically a comb that attaches to the end of a vacuum hose.

As the Groom runs over the dog's pelt, loose hair is combed free and sucked away. While I'm sure this would work on some dogs - i.e. trained dogs - I think using the Groom on my dog would be one of the dumbest moves I've ever made. And I've made a lot of those.

Even in her calmest moments, my Lab Stoney exhibits "rampaging chimpanzee on crack" strength. She spins around knocking everything and everyone over, jumps on top of and into furniture, fences, parked vehicles, orphans and widows, and slams into both stationary and moving objects. She is a blizzard of white fur-covered muscle. And she hates loud things such as lawn mowers and…that's right…vacuum cleaners. So the idea of me holding her down and running a noisy, vibrating brush over her just doesn't gel real well with my psyche. The thought of doing it ranks right up there with jumping in front of a MAC truck or playing keep away with a rabid grizzly. Sorry. But I think I'll pass.

So, Outdoor Life readers, how do you deal with your dog's shedding? Would you vacuum your dog with a Dyson Groom?