Even in her calmest moments, my Lab Stoney exhibits "rampaging chimpanzee on crack" strength. She spins around knocking everything and everyone over, jumps on top of and into furniture, fences, parked vehicles, orphans and widows, and slams into both stationary and moving objects. She is a blizzard of white fur-covered muscle. And she hates loud things such as lawn mowers and…that's right…vacuum cleaners. So the idea of me holding her down and running a noisy, vibrating brush over her just doesn't gel real well with my psyche. The thought of doing it ranks right up there with jumping in front of a MAC truck or playing keep away with a rabid grizzly. Sorry. But I think I'll pass.