I’m probably going to go to hell for this, or at least end up sleeping on the couch for the foreseeable future, but this list, which I got from a friend, was too good not to post.

Here’s my question to you: Is it worth trying the “don’t shoot the messenger” defense with my spouse?

The Ten Reasons Men Prefer Guns Over Women:

10. You can trade an old .44 for a new .22.

9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

8. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

7. Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

5. A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

3. A gun doesn’t ask, ‘Do these new grips make me look fat?’

2. A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep when you’re done.

1. You can buy a silencer for a gun.

—John Snow