Just how many shotshells can you load from the ashes of a cremated corpse? Like you, that’ a question I never thought to pose. But here’s the answer anyway: 1 pound of gramps’ remains is enough for a case (250 rounds) of 12-gauge shotgun shells.

The good people at Holy Smoke LLC will take those ashes, load them into live ammo–either shotshells or centerfire rifle or pistol–and ship them back to you for one last hunt with your dearly departed.

The cost for your 250 rounds is a tidy $1,250. This is certainly the most expensive ammo you’ll ever buy but, as the company points out: “The services provided by Holy Smoke are a fraction of the cost of what most funeral burial services cost – oftentimes saving families as much as 75 percent of traditional costs.” So pony up, cheapskate.

What if gramps was an old gun-toting hippie? “The ecological footprint caused by our service, as opposed to most of the current funeral interment methods, is virtually non-existent.” It’s the green way to go.

And if gramps was a paranoid security freak? Why just load him up in some .45s for the 1911 in your bedside table: “Now, you can continue to protect your home and family even after you are gone.” And we mean, gone.

The company website says you can pick from various gauges and calibers. In case you were worried that gramps’ corrosive personality would ruin your pre-’64 Model 70, you can set your mind at ease: “None of the ash will have any effect on rifling, the propellant, or the firearm. All ash is placed in the shot cup or in the bullet for rifles and pistols.”

Before I bite, I want to hear some specifics about their reloading. Are they using match-grade dies? Will they turn the brass to a specified neck-wall thickness? Will they test the accuracy of gramps with different bullet-seating depths and primer styles? And exactly what charge weight of gramps are they placing in each shell?

I need these answers because gramps was such a lousy shot in real life that I don’t want him screwing up our last hunt together with some junk ammo.

But you can’t loose sight of what’s really important in all this. Honoring the dead. “All shotshells and bullets will be sealed and boxed with reverance (sic) and care.”