Netflix lied to me again.

The online DVD rental service emailed me that based on my past rentals it was sure I’d enjoy Welcome to the Jungle. I didn’t. It was horrible.

The story centers on two couples that venture into the rainforests of Irian Jaya in search of an elderly Michael Rockefeller who vanished there in 1961. In addition to the story, horrible dialogue, little to no action and shaky Blair Witch camera effects the movie – like many movies – shows no realism or understanding of venturing outdoors.

The characters prepare to enter the uncharted rain forest by loading up with a couple video cameras, a pack full of booze and cigarettes, and some granola bars. Booze? Ok, I’ll give them that one. But a couple granola bars to last a few weeks in the jungle? Come on. At least one of the guys shows the forethought to pack a semi-automatic pistol for protection from cannibals. Now I don’t claim to be firearm expert by any means nor do I profess to know about protecting one’s self from cannibals (actually, the few cannibals I’ve met have been very nice) but a pistol?!

That’s it?!

I think I’d pack an AR-15 chambered in .308 with a monster clip. I mean, let’s face it, can you really ever be over-gunned when screwing around in cannibal territory? My gut says no…as does the rest of my body. Don’t eat me bro!

So, what weapon would you take into hostile cannibal country to use as self-defense? And the key words here are “self-defense.” I’m not advocating cannibal hunting by any means.

Comment below.