You’ve been there – hunting deer when you’d rather be kicking a dog. Or chewing broken glass.

Let’s face it, there are some days when you are so cranky you don’t even want to be alone with yourself. And I’ll bet those are days that you scarcely see a deer or hear an elk bugle.

Dude, it’s you. It’s the negative energy you’re emitting like smoke from a steam-age boiler. Game can pick up on your downer vibes. You are repelling them like so many fleas at a Front-Line sales convention.

That’s why I’m grateful the camouflage industry has turned its attention from simply hiding my outline and muting my color palette to masking my significant negative energy, my electromagnetic field.

The company, HECS, is based in John Day, Oregon, a high-plains paradise with curiously positive energy. HECS stands for Humans Energy Concealment Systems, and the conductive carbon garments ( are designed to block hunters’ electromagnetic fields. They are also made of 86 percent polyester.

You will finally be able to close the distance with those yoga-trained blacktails in the California foothills. You’ll be able to arrow at will the bead-wearing bucks of Monterey and Taos. Wearing your set of “Energy Cloak” camo, you might even get a front-row seat at the next Enya concert.