As a longtime writer and devoted newshound, it never ceases to amaze me how mainstream electronic media and newspapers unapologetically skew their news reports to reflect a specific political or social bias. But readers, here’s a story from California (naturally) that absolutely breaks new ground in environmentally overboard wildlife reporting that’s sure to make you howl in agony.

It seems a couple of urbanized West coast coyotes became especially brazen this past weekend and attacked some leashed dogs being walked by their owner in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park.Coyote

Not only were these critters abnormally aggressive while showing no apparent fear of humans, but they also must have had some massive cajones because they targeted two enormous Rhodesian ridgebacks.

Anyhow, on Sunday night agents from the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s animal services division found and dispatched what they determined were the two offending wild canines.

Well, in America’s heartland that would have been the end of a non-news story, but not in the San Francisco Bay Area.

The headline in the San Francisco Chronicle looked like it was meant for a serious crime story—perhaps even gang-related.

Two coyotes shot to death in Golden Gate Park,” it read.

But that wasn’t the worst of it. According to the San Jose Mercury News, this wasn’t merely a shooting and killing—it was far, far more serious.

Coyotes spotted in Golden Gate Park executed,” said the South Bay paper’s headline.

And who does the newspaper say was responsible for this ruthless genocide? Why, the government, of course.

“The executions were carried out by the United States Department of Agriculture and took place near the scene of the coyote’s initial attack…” read the Bay City News Service story.

I can only assume that a candlelight vigil attended by hundreds of mourners will be held for the slain coyotes near the location of their death at the hands of agents of the federal government. That is, unless a convicted mass murderer is scheduled to get his ticket punched on San Quentin’s death row this week.