Shell-Shocked

Here at the Outdoor News Hound, we believe the turtle has been unfairly characterized as being one of nature’s slowest creatures. We offer as evidence a man who was fishing on the Tuscarawas River in northern Ohio the other night…

Police in Massillon, Ohio who responded to a report of a gunshot on the river around midnight Friday determined there’d been some sort of altercation between a fisherman and a large snapping turtle.Snapper_2

And a 9mm handgun was also involved.

“So these two knuckleheads have this turtle hooked and I think they were planning to eat it,” Sgt. J.J. DiLoreto told the Massillon Independent newspaper. “Apparently he was taking a shot at the turtle and his foot got in the way.”

Yes, he shot himself in the foot--literally and figuratively--by all indications.

“I don’t know how bad his foot is, but I do know they took him to a hospital by private vehicle right away,” said the cop. “At that close range and the bullet moving that fast, it had to have hurt like heck.”

Heck? We'll bet it hurt worse than that.

The newspaper report failed to identify the angler (and decidedly crummy marksman), but if you know any river fishermen around the Akron area who came to work this week sporting a bad limp, you might want to ask if they’ve hooked any snapping turtles lately.

As for the turtle, it apparently fled the scene—as fast as it could.

“I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty, but I think the turtle got away,” said DiLoreto.

So we ask you, kind News Hounders, which creature in this tale is slowest?

We rest our case.