A New Jersey man was arrested last week allegedly smuggling and attempting to sell…wait for it…whale tusks.

Yep. Whale tusks.

Officials with the federal Environment and Natural Resources Division arrested Andrew L Zarauskas at his home in Union, NJ, on Friday for illegally bringing narwhal tusks into the U.S. from Canada. (Am I the only one that didn’t know there was such an agency? I thought Customs or U.S. Fish and Wildlife handled whale smuggling.) Zarauskas faces charges of conspiracy and money laundering for his dealing with whale ivory.

Jay G. Conrad of Lakeland, Tenn., was named as Zarauskas’ alleged co-conspirator in a federal grand jury indictment in Maine.

My advice to these two is to lie about their crimes if they go to prison. Whale tusk smuggling doesn’t sound very tough. It just sounds stupid.