You get 25 points just for taking the time to read this post when you could be out setting trail cams for whitetails.

You know there’s a difference between a hen yelp and a gobbler yelp. Add 5 points. You regard opportunities for all the other upland birds as secondary when compared to running your canine hunting partner on fall flocks where legal. Add 10 bonus points. Five more if you own more than one dog and hunt multiple fall turkey states.

Take 1 point for each extra 1,000 road miles you put on your truck in autumn looking for turkeys, which is only rivaled by the month(s) you hunt spring gobblers.

You happily take a fall bird of the year, preferably a pink-faced jake, and declare it equal to a springtime longbeard. Add 5 points. You bow hunt but only for wild turkeys during extended archery-only opportunities. Add 5 points.

You started out cutting your teeth first on fall turkeys decades ago before the modern tradition shifted to the spring. Zero points but we’ve got your back.

You have never hunted fall turkeys. Subtract 10 points. Subtract 5 points if it’s not legal in your state (maybe consider a road trip?). You think fall turkey hunting should be outlawed. Subtract 20 and read a little more on the subject.

You know that fighting purrs will sometimes bring male turkeys in for a look, expecting a gobbler fight. Add 5 points.You had your taxidermist mount a bearded adult hen your son or daughter tagged one frosty fall morning their first turkey season. Add 15 points.

You once passed on filling your tag on opening day fall birds in range just to savor the moment and make it last, only to eat it that last day of turkey season when time ran out; a season you consider a success for all the action you had. Add 15 points.

Take another 3 points if when you fill your last deer tag you start to look around for neighboring states where a fall (or winter) turkey season is still open. Take 5 points if you routinely argue with “beards in the spring, antlers in the fall” buddies who don’t believe male birds gobble (or sometimes strut) in autumn.

Add 10 points if you turned down a college pal’s bachelor party in Vegas because it conflicted with the opening weekend of autumn turkey season.


75+ points: You’re a fall turkey hunting superhero.

50+ points: You’re welcome to share my turkey camp anytime.

0-49 points: You’re still a brother (or sister!) since you hunt, but . . .