My good buddy Red always says, “Don’t shoot the bear in the ass with a slingshot and then point at your friend. The bear won’t get it and he WILL attack you both.” Very wise, Red, very wise!

We don’t have too many bears where I live. The Bramble Park Zoo is home to the only ones that I know of and there’s a no petting rule in effect. What fun is that? At least let me feed them. My neighbor’s cat has been getting on my nerves lately. I’d start there.

Back to the point, I’m sure there are a million different thoughts, emotions and ideas that would go through your head when being encountered by a bear in the wild. So, what is the craziest thing you should NOT do when you see that bear? Come on, let’s hear em’!

Here’s mine: Shouldn’t do: Poop my pants, then run. Should do: Poop my pants while running, thank you very much!

For more ideas on what not to do check out this video.

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack and Brunton lantern (valued at $200).

Last week’s Winner

Here are the top ten best comments, and #1 is the winner. Nice job everyone!

Top Ten Things You Can Use As Hand Warmers

10.) from ccranger: During late goose season, my hands were getting so cold that I took off my Mickey mouse boot, stuck my foot into my backpack to block the wind, and stuck my hands into the empty boot. I kept rotating boots until we dropped a few birds. Then I stuck two geese into my backpack and stuck my hands inside to keep them warm. At the end of the day my hands smelled like sweaty feet, and the inside of my backpack stunk of foot and dead bird smells.

9.) from pjsabella: my fresh pee jug that I have sitting in my stand. Just go and then hold! Works all the time!!!

8.) from Kit_Karson: Usually by the time my hands are cold I have wasted a box of shells, so I can just grab on to the outside of my barrel to warm my hands up!

7.) from Hunter_Fass: One of the top items I use as hand warmers are– Actual hand warmers.

6.) from DirtyDan: A freshly killed teal in your coat jacket.

5.) from Crash: I have no imagination and apparently cold hands.

4.) from The Captain: Whiskey, not on hands, but consumed until not cold. Proper dosage reached when dancing naked in the snow singing, “I’m a Lumberjack and I’m OK”.

3.) from garyfisherman: I will be the first one to go there….boobs! and I aint talkin about your buddies man boobs either!

2.) from Edmick: Your buddy’s gloves that he would’ve sworn he packed before you guys left.

1.) from Club Studowski: Trying to get a squirrel that pulled a jesus and came back to life in your vest pouch while pheasant hunting in december seems to help me warm up…