Top Ten Things You're Scared You Might Say To Bill Dance

Bill Dance, Bill Dance, Bill Dance!

He is THE man and one of America's best-known fisherman. From his instructional, entertaining outdoor show to his classic bloopers, Mr. Dance has had me hooked since I was just a young buck growing up in S.D. During South Dakota's normal months, if I wasn't out rippin' up the neighborhood on my trusty Coast to Coast blue dirt bike, then I was inside watching Bill Dance.

During the, ice age, -45 degree wind chill winter months, if I wasn't outside watching my brother stick his tongue to a fence post or pound me with snowballs, then I was inside watching Bill Dance. Well, I can't lie to you, I did watch a little Dukes and WWF from time to time, but it was always followed by an encore VHS recorded episode of Bill Dance.

There are 4 people I have always wanted to meet, Bill Murray, Howard Stern, Jennifer Aniston and Bill Dance. I spent 14 weeks escorting Conan O'Brien's guests and never once was I starstruck. But never have I been lucky enough to meet Bill Dance. If the opportunity ever presents itself, I'm a little scared of what I might say during that all important "first impression" moment.

So, picture yourself meeting the King of Outdoor Television for the first time and tell me what you might be afraid of saying.

My three:
3. My boat is bigger than yours.

2. Man, it's so nice to finally meet you, Roland!

1. Roll Tide Roll!

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack and Brunton lantern (valued at $200).

Last week's Winner

It's just too hard for me to choose a winner. But I have to go with john5522's poopin' the bush story. I've been there many many times... I'll hold it all day if I can just so I don't screw up a hunt or miss anything, etc ... Never once have I been able to wait. It's always a last-second scramble.

From john5522:
I_'m certain this has happened to more people than will admit it, but my story has a little twist. We were in Northern Lower Michigan partridge hunting and we had been out for nearly 5 hours, heard lots of birds, but no luck getting any shots off. So with nature calling all around me she began calling inside me too. I "shuffled" as long as I could trying to get to the bathrooms at the state parking area we had left the truck at, but at last I gave up, gathered some soft looking leafy vegetation and decided to take care of my business. While leaning against the tree my dog comes up beside me and does the same things. We're both sitting there in all our glory when a bird walks right out from under a pine, looks at us (I think I even saw it smile), and flew away. That was the day I got caught with my pants down ... by a partridge._