Top Ten Things You Never Want To Hear From Your Guide

We've all had a guide one time or another when hunting in the bush. Might have been your Grandfather, Dad, older brother, neighbor, outfitter or whomever. And it seems to me that looking back I can remember some doozy comments I heard while stuck out in the woods with these people. I'm sure you have had some crazy experiences too. So let me hear them--ROOOOOSSSSSTTERRRR!!

Here's mine: From my outfitter guide in Alaska: "Hey Benny, can I borrow your toothbrush?"

Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.

Last week's Winner

Great job Flatbed on your #1. Enjoy the gear!

10.) from Tom-Tom: Benny, it has to be bacon scented after-shave and/or cologne. Any woman that is naturally attracted to that aroma has absolutely got to be worth meeting and getting to know.

9.) from JM1993: Bacon wallet to hold all your hunting tags.

8.) from djohns13: My favorite use for bacon is as a bear repellent. Just before you and your buddy head out to hunt bear, shove a few bacon strips in his boots and jacket pockets. If the trip goes horribly wrong, the bear will focus on your buddy and give you just enough time to make it to safety. It's survival of the fittest, bacon-style.

7.) from ninety5percent: When i was in high school my best friends mom told me to put bacon and bacon grease on my chin at night so i can grow a goatee. It didnt work!!!

6.) from alyx: Funniest: bacon bra. Google it if you haven't seen it ;)

5.) from JM1993: Bacon toothpaste, bacon floss, and bacon mouthwash so that you can eat your bacon right after you get out of the bathroom instead of having to wait for the mint flavor to leave your mouth.

4.) from kolt30: bacon wrapped bacon

3.) from mkorpal: Bacon Stir Stick. Nothing is better for mixing a Bloody-Mary on a Sunday morning. Nothing.

2.) from ishipley: Smelling salts. Who don't wake up for bacon?

1.) from Flatbed: If they would make a perfume that smells like bacon there would be no ugly women left unmarried