Willie Nelson’s “On The Road Again” is the first song I can remember tappin’ the ol’ toe to. In my early days, my Dad and I would drive three hours to shoot geese on the Missouri River, and it played every time we cruised down the highway. At that point in time Willie had me convinced that I was going to be a country music star. One problem, I don’t possess an ounce of musical talent. I mean zero, zilch, nothing even close. But that didn’t stop me from almost making “the phone call.”
Back in those days, my father helped with the local PRCA rodeo, during which I befriended many rodeo personalities. I often helped these people with random odd jobs.
One year an announcer from Nashville showed up to do the rodeo, and come to find out he had been, at one time, an executive at a major country music label. I helped him throughout the entire rodeo weekend, and as he left he handed me his card and told me to stay in touch. Around this same time Garth Brooks was lighting up the stage and I was fascinated how he could entertain a crowd.
I watched countless hours of his Dallas Texas Reunion Arena show. I had every move, lyric and note memorized. It must have hypnotized me into thinking that I could be THE next country music sensation. I know you want to hear that I made the call to this guy pitching myself, and I came damn close. I actually picked up the phone and started dialing, but realized I had no talent and hung up. I can’t imagine how that talent-less pitch would have gone! Honestly, I wish I had called and recorded it.
That’s a true story folks! Benny’s an idiot! Back to the issue at hand–the Top Ten. It’s no secret that there are some country songs with bizarre lyrics and titles. For examply, Jimmy Buffett’s, ‘Please Bypass This Heart.’ Johnny Cash, ‘You Can’t Have Your Kate And Edith Too.’ To tell you the truth, I think they’re awesome! So, get creative and let’s hear yours!
Here’s mine: Sh*t, shower and shave.
Write your funniest ideas in the comments section for the chance to win an ASAP Survival Gear Pack.
Last week’s Winner**
Trapper Vic, Giblets. Grandpa. Funny stuff. Somehow, I can picture that! Great everyone! They’re all great!
10.) from Fishman24: I know the turkey looks a little bit different this year. It’s because I ran it over with my truck.
9.) from YoungBuck843: whos up for a song?
8.) from BubbaK: So Dad, has Mom met your new girlfriend?
7.) from Sven_Katur: So Benny … when are you gonna settle down and make me some grand babies?
6.) from bigcat: Well, it’s actually eagle, most people think it tastes just like turkey!
5.) from YoungBuck843: honestly im not sure what it is, i just saw a bird and shot it… gravy?
4.) from JM1993: Don’t eat the skin off the turkey, the dog might of pissed on it while it was hanging in the outhouse.
3.) from lafamatj: the 16 year old to her parents: speaking of stuffing, mom dad, i’m pregnant.
2.) from QDMGuy: “The way the wife’s been eating sure makes me glad we saved her chubby jeans!”
1.) from trapper vic: Gramps go put on some pants ur giblets are showing.