Gayne Fishes Baja

My villa at the Bay of Dreams was a quaint place, nothing fancy. It would suffice for the fishing trip my buddies and I were about to embark on.
The view from my porch was adequate.
My host and buddy Mark Buchanan made it out on the ocean in time for a great sunrise. Mark and I enjoy sharing sunrises. Rainbows. Unicorn figurines. Watching MMA fighting.
"Hey, Captain Hugo you need to rub in that sunscreen. You gotta big blob on your cheek." "I no to like you Gayne. You no to talk to me again."
"Thar she blows! Grab a harpoon and bring me alongside Hugo!" "I tell you no to talk to me Gayne."
My buddies Joe (left) and Greg with our first catch of the day - a nice size tuna. Joe isn't looking up at the camera because he just puked. Those guys from Utah don't handle the sea very well.
Of course I caught my first fish by the tail.
"You no know how to fish Gayne."
Love you too Hugo.
Ha! Guess I can catch fish. I reeled in this nice wahoo about an hour into our trip.
"He a small fish Gayne."
"Why you being so mean Hugo? I mean the first part of your name is hug…I meant that in a nice way…Dude! What are you doing with that gaff? Put that thing down."
Closer to shore, Joe hooked into a nice rooster fish.
Cock-a-doddle-do! Actually, that would probably be in Spanish. Can anyone translate that for me?
Pretty nice rooster fish for a guy that was puking while reeling it in.
Ten thirty. Time to head ashore for some beer and snacks.
"Hugo. You want me to get you some beer? My treat."
Look at that thumbs up. I think he's warming to me.
Greg, Mark, and Joe heading into "town" for provisions.
Mark wades to the boat, supplies in hand.
He blew up once he got onboard though. "I did everything I could to keep the pork rinds dry but left my wallet in my pocket!"
What does Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai have to do with my fishing trip in Baja? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I could live at this bar.
Mark was so happy at our day's success that he promised us a forward flip into the pool.
Remember kids, there's nothing funnier than someone saying, "Watch me do this" and then they eat it. My God did he eat it. I still feel bad for the guy.
No, I won't make the "eating it" picture public. Mark has lawyers. Good ones.
Day two. "Hey Hugo, that's a lovely cream colored shirt you're wearing." "You no to talk to me!" "Oh, we're back on that again are we?"
"Check out that horsepower Hugo! You ain't bad, you ain't cocky, gonna ride on you like a Kawasaki, boom boom, hey, boom boom…"
Ok, I can't write what Hugo said here.
Coyote on the beach. What's up with that?
Back to business.
I don't remember when Freddy Fender showed up. I think it was just for this picture though.
Gayne's into something…and referring to himself in the third person.
And looking fat. Is that the best picture we could come up with? Really?
All that effort and all I got was a needle fish. What did Hugo just say?
"He said something about you, a needle fish, and…well…never mind."
This is what impressed Hugo. Why?
It's his favorite eating fish! "Yeah! We're pals now, right Hugo?! What are you doing with that steak knife…Yo, man…feel the love…"
Gayne finally gets a rooster!
Rooster fish are gorgeous. Too bad they taste like crap. Mine did at least.
My catch was so impressive; they made a statue of me and the fish and put it next to the pool. "What do you think of that Hugo?!"
"I see a cat that go to bathroom on statue. Make me think of you."
My buddy Dustin with a big wahoo and…well…a banana in his mouth. It's better you don't ask.
Mark suggests a field trip.
That's salt Mark! Remember kids, there's nothing funnier than someone saying, "Watch me do this" and then they eat it. Or snort salt in an attempt to be funny and burn the hell out of their nostrils.
The sun rises on my last day. Mark and I love sunrises…oh…never mind.
We visit the bait man.
I'm not sure what I hooked into, but it was fun.
And Hugo seemed excited.
Look at him jump!
Why does Hugo look at me every time he gaffs something?
My pal Roy with…a brown fish.
"Hugo, do you find that by tossing the bait in such a manner…" Evil stare. "I should no to talk to you, right?"
Greg and a trumpet fish. What a slimy, nasty, disgusting creature! And the fish ain't nice either.
What?! Greg's a lawyer. I can say that.
This fish had spots.
And that's all I got.
Is it bad luck to catch a bird? If so, I'm doomed.
This wahoo weighed 60 + pounds! My biggest to date.
And I date around. Ha, ha, ha…get it? Biggest to date?
Saying goodbye to my room and its view was hard. But I'll be back.
Want to visit The Bay of Dreams? Do so at
http://www.bajaluxuryfishingvillas.com/

Gayne Young and his buddies invaded Mexico to fish the Gulf of California. Somehow they let him back into the U.S. to report this story.