Hunting 100 Best Comments The smartest, dumbest, craziest, taken-out-of-context comments left by Outdoorlife.com web users. Here’s a look at the first 10 in our... By Gerry Bethge | Published Jun 10, 2010 5:01 PM Hunting SHARE 1. Why is a banana bad luck on a fishing boat? – pjsabella Keep ’em coming, guys. photo by Svadilfari 2. Every deer is great. Cherish every minute you get with your family and friends. When life cuts you short you realize just how blessed we are to have this wonderful sport GOD has given us. I used to take it for granted, but not anymore… – crossbow77 3. Looks to me like Sigourny Weaver has a new co-star. – Purplehead 4. I’ve found that dying the entire carpet the color of the poop to be an easier option. Not really … but I have considered it. Commercial carpet cleaners just love to remove dog poop. Well, maybe not, but they are good at it. My next house is going to have full tile and wood floors. Throw rugs can be rolled up and taken to the cleaner … or the quarter car wash. -Mike photo by tostie14 5. A good bourbon goes well with many outdoor pursuits. -Ishi 6. I am almost teary-eyed with the admiration for these young ladies and their willingness to do such good work for the planet. – Hilawz45 7. All I have to say to Katie Woods in pic #1 is: Wow, I wish I wasn’t married already. -elkslayer 8. Fishing on foggy water makes me feel like something magic is about to happen. -purplehead photo by brookpeterson 9. For a higher dollar rifle the Merkel is kind of ugly, I hope it shoots better than it looks. -herbie57_57 10. I shoot a savage 270 and I love it. I went Elk hunting in Kansas this January and brought down a 600-pound Elk and two Ibex in one shot! – squirrel hunter photo by jajolll 11. Actually, Arnold Schwarzenegger owns the M-47 tank that he drove during his draftee days in the Austrian Army. Many people own tanks, armored personnel carriers, and self-propelled artillery vehicles. Nothing wrong with that. Only tyrants and liberals would be bothered but that would be redundant, wouldn’t it? -Ruckweiler 12. Yes, cows are spooky. Whenever I do anything in the country, they are there, watching and chewing. Always watching and chewing. Just waiting their chance. They have learned to communicate with the deer, passing on their diabolical schemes. Deer are out there, watching and chewing. Just waiting for their chance. -Mike photo by Emmett A Tullos III 13. I’VE only told this story to a few close friends because it’s hard to believe . When I was a teenager on a squirrel hunt, a velvet antlered buck came trotting along a well-worn trail near where I was sitting. As I stood up, the buck never changed his gait so I started to follow him. Soon I had closed the distance and ran along beside him, I reached out and touched him on his back, still he continued at the same speed, I was a bit shocked by this event so I stopped and watched as the buck continued on his way outa sight. -6phhunter photo by michael (mx5tx) 14. I might be inclined to argue leniency for an old lady, but bashing bambi to protect a flower garden is way too much for me. -Seadog 15. It’s sad that so many people take what they hear or see from the media as the absolute truth with no thought as to what else may be found with a little research. People need to wizen up and look a little deeper into the stories they hear to find the truth and not just what is shown to them. -Yoda photo by alan.stoddard 16. I would feel honored to eat a piece of a world record or any big animal, but who am I kidding, I just like eating animals. -taylor1 17. that’s a great buck and congrats to him. just one question…what makes him think he can sit on that animal? i’m just sayin… -jamesti 18. Rehashing Glen Beck is pointless. He is a recovering drug addict, His brain is fried. He thinks he’s a pirate and he needs to be put in a rubber room. He couldn’t go one on one with himself let alone someone with a law degree. – patrick88 19. We’ve been removing weeds and brush for out new plots. We put up several mini (10’x20′ and 20’x60′) plots around the property. We also leave a 5 acre santcuary that we never set foot in. Hopefully the sanctuary and the food plots will keep the deer from jumping the fence to our neighbor who regularly shoots bucks out of season. It’s tough telling your teenage son the deer he was hoping for was shot 4 weeks before bow season starts. -cgull 20. Andrew, I was with until – you accept global warming, climate change or whatever………When someone brings up that BS they lose credibilty and my attention, all I hear after that is dial tone. -Charlie elk photo by mike_is_scrumptious 21. I think I should be worried. Usually my wife complains constantly about my hunting time. With money being tight and my big old truck getting 12 mpg, I have not gone much this year. I do have a buddy that lives half the distance from the land than I do and has offered to let me stay with him to save on gas over the weekend or next week when we’re both off work. I asked [my wife] how she felt about that and she was all for it and said I should do it several nights. I wonder what she’s planning? -SCHuntman 22. What are they supposed to be wearing? Sweaters and snow pants? -dakasper 23. You know its getting bad when you have to mount a fifty cal on the front of your bass boat. -patrick88 photo by Casualty 24. Guess what I think? They ought to take his gun, his truck, and anything that his family does not need to survive while he is in prison … I harbor no sympathy for the kind of maggot munching, scum sucking, slime slurping, bottom feeding lowlifes that will poach animals just to get a trophy. I probably need to talk to someone about my inability to express what I really think, it is starting to impede me in my communication with others. -Bo 25. Give me a bomb proof golden hummer with a diamond-plated 50 mounted on top along with a golden semi auto 3o-o6 & can’t forget the dual golden model 18’s also. -www.dropjhook.com 26. Haha just think of all the starving kids you could feed with this plane…this is how 50 Cent visits the mother land. -I_love_english 27. Y’all be careful about too much fishing. It can be overdone, and I proved it by quitting my profession and doing it for a living for fifteen years. It cooled my jets considerably. I still enjoy a leisurely trip now and then, but I certainly lost the obsessive fanaticism that virtually consumed me from my childhood through my early forties. **-Pineywoods****** 28. YEAH and I was out in the woods calling deer in PA and an alien and a zombie came out and I sayed “shoo shoo please go away” and they sayed ” O CRAP YOU CAN’T EAT ANY ONE THESE DAYS” this guys FULL of CRAP. P.S. I’m joking if you can’t tell. -Buck hunter photo by Jay Adan 29. I applaud Outdoor Life for keeping this disaster [the oil spill] current and all the updates and reports from the gulf region … Teddy R-come back to life we need you now… – the decoy hunter 30. As a k9trainer/handler I can understand the bond between these folks and their dogs. You only really bond with 3 dogs… your first, your worst and your last. -bhubbard64 31. Pa-leeeze. How much sport is it to hunt them with rifles. Here in Illinois real hunters harvest them with bows. My best shot was at 22yards-dropped her in her tracks. Three minutes later I arrowed another female that was also investigating my calls. -snshdydm 32. Demi Moore looks like a dude… -Kenster 33. Okay, does Giant tortoise taste like chicken or alligator? -Bo 34. THAT IS HUGE! I need to come to you’re place. Where i come from (North Carolina) that is like a world record deer. Nice kill. -deermaniac 35. Coyotes taste like chicken. Just kidding, they are a menace, do not have a natural predator and are almost as bad as people at decimating local populations of the tasty tasty game animals. My local pop of deer has been affected and the coyotes are getting thinner, just wait until your kids puppy gets eaten by one, then tell me how much you want to protect them. -Dean-o 36. Twenty three more of those pictures and I would be permanently holed up in my house with cans of Raid stashed strategically around the place, a pocket full of antihistamines, a bottle of calamine lotion and many cases of red wine. Those bugs could give me a whole new appreciation of cold winters. I’m going to plan the rest of my insect defense arsenal over a glass of that red wine and try not to worry!! -Kody 37. Jeeze imagine driving the road and seeing a screaming cougar and flailing sheep fall from the sky onto the road -taylor1 38. I’d trade’em all fer one that can make a good gopher gravy…………well maybe not all -jimbob 39. What a deer! I have seen this deer before, the bad thing is that instead of hearing my 270 go off I got to here my alarm clock. – Michael_Petrey10 40. Three cheers for the Aaron family. Somebody had to be the first gar roe eater. Now we all have fair warning to alter our menu. I’m glad that the price of this knowledge wasn’t too high. Now I can go back to my roadkill cookbook and put in an addendum. -purplehead 41. I would participate in nuisance control, however most land owners in TX want to be paid for hunts… even hunting nuisance hogs. It has become far too commercial. I have no problem with folks hunting hogs from helicopters, however it is not the answer. The answer is these land owners opening their ranches up to select personnel for hunting, and (gasp) not expecting hunters to shell out money to help them with hogs. If land owners cannot embrace this concept then they are either too money hungry or the hog problem is not that bad. -The Captain 42. You’re never too old to go snapper fishing. -Seadog photo by schmuck-by-nature 44. The roadkill should be hauled back to the prison kitchens instead of the land fill….burns me to think how much of our tax dollars are spent on feeding and housing criminals. -Bigjake photo by Michael Lehet 46. People should have to have a mental health screenings before posting paranoid comments online. -Tarheel260 photo by Liz Henry 47. Buzz baits are not that good. -Jack the Hunter 48. And on the eighth day, God created bikini ice fishing, and he saw that it was good. -Topgun777 49. I would try it in a heartbeat! After killing boar with knife and dogs, I can only imagine the thrill of jaguars with spears… just don’t tell my wife as my hide would be hanging on the wall as well. – The Captain 50. The best boat name I’ve EVER seen was . . . Never Again II –Mr. October photo by C.K.H. 51. A skunk ape (our local version of bigfoot) once helped me polish off a 1.5 liter bottle of Jack Daniels. I know it’s true ’cause I couldn’t have finished that whole bottle by myself. -Seadog photo by TheeErin photo by Michael (mx5tx) 53. After shooting a 96 4X at 1000 yards with my open sighted Super Match M1A, a Marine Colonel turned to me putting his hand on my shoulder and said to this Air Force NCO, “Coop I’m glad your on my side”! -Old Salts photo by JG Foto_graphia 54. Why did the English bowmen using the longbow defeat the French crossbowmen???? -pyneco 55. You know, some years ago, I discovered that by using subsonic .22 loads, along with putting a baby bottle nipple that had been scored with an X, pull it over the muzzle of .22 rifle, it would alter the sound just enough to not be a beacon screaming “GUN SHOT” in a residential neighborhood. It is a good way to manage feral cats. Where I live now it is not a problem. I am on the outskirts of town and on a clear night, every now an then I can hear the coyotes…I guess there is a purpose for them after all… -Bo photo by fauxto_digit 56. Screw HSUS and PETA the people that give them money might as well be giving it to the Taliban. These people are hypocrites and do more harm than good. -X2DKkiller photo by plasmastik 57. Someone needs to take BP to the woodshed and make sure the splinters hurt like hell when they come out. -Patrick88 58. My wife would beat me stupid if she found frozen deer piss in the freezer, good trick though might try it. – X2DKkiller 59. The only thing I really daydream about when it comes to hunting season is pulling the trigger and putting venison in the freezer. If the deer turns out to be big, that’s just icing on the cake. -Crabwearer photo by Michael (mx5tx) 60. Considering the skill required to do those things, I will be able to start in 15-20 years on muzzleloaders. – Colorado Samurai 61. My bosses old boat name was “on the other line” so when people called and asked to speak to him guess what the answer was … sorry he’s on the other line right now -dwrote1 photo by Chrissy Olson 62. Call me crazy but I like the saying “happiness is a belt-fed weapon.” So I’m gonna have to go with one of my all time favorites and say the M2 BMG with armor piercing incendiary rounds to start, and a MK19 40mm automatic grenade launcher. Then if [the zombies] get close enough, a 1911, and an AR firing the bushmaster 450 with a beta mag and probably a saiga auto 12 GA with slug and 00buck alternating. -rickjr 63. This article reminds me of a leopard attack on Carl Akeley in Africa in the early part of the 20th century. In Mr. Akeley’s case, he had to strangle the leopard to death, which REALLY tore up his arm. – Colorado Samurai 64. I call B.S. Looks like your run-of-the-mill house cat to me. There’s no such thing as cougars! -DivineStrake 65. Bucky Badger with a gun. That’s Wisconsin all the way. Nice tat. GO BADGERS!!!! -ingsht03 66. Guns are like woman. They look good in pictures but nothing beats holding a good one. -Ishi 67. Hey Charlie, besides being immoral, I can think of a whole lot of reasons why porcupine sex might be a bad idea. Lol. -Seadog photo by richardrichard 68. 12 ga shotgun 00 buck = no sharks. What good are sharks, they eat people right? – Dennis B 69. Why hunting MIGHT die … #1: Can you say “hubris?” – Scott Linden photo by brew127 70. I got a tattoo of some buck tracks going up the side of my leg… helps remind me during the summer why I work my butt off all year waiting on fall to get here. -buckchaser77 photo by milan81 71. Great dog , I have a chocolate lab also, he gets me a beer from the fridge, they are so smart…. -Jeff Peterson 72. Can you see me saluting Ted [Nugent] as if he was ole glory itself? He’s got enuff hair on his ass for all of us but it takes all of us. I love you Ted. Your music was gift enough but you bring even more to the table. God bless you. -41magtoter 73. A few years back reported sightings of a cougar near Moscow, Idaho turned out to actually be a record size house cat. Estimates were near 40 lbs. – land_cruiser_73. photo by spyder239 74. My squirrels keep blowen up with the power line too. -bighunter photo by noiseburst 75. I dunno. I think I deserve a record. I am an old Bass fisherman. One time I caught a fish so big that the picture weighed 6 lbs! -blackdawgz 76. Dickens says it best, the passion we feel deep in our breasts to hunt. The oneness with nature and God that we feel when we’re in a blind or walking the vast cornfields and crp looking for pheasants or quail cannot compare with the boring workday life most of us are forced to endure. It is this passion that gets us through our days, weeks, and seasons, until we can do it all again. And now my 10 yr old son will embark on his first season in the field. How great is this time of year?!! Good luck huntin ya all! -mlmorse63 77. A buddy of mine was drunker than, well you know. We were all on the porch and here comes a little black critter around the corner he proceeds to call here kitty kitty and when it wouldn’t come he decided to give chase. Well if you haven’t guessed it was a skunk we didn’t have the heart and we were laughing are arses off. -patrick88 78. That’s a good story–sounds just like Papa Hemingway to do that. I’ve been itchin’ to get into the iguana hunting game for a while now–so far, the lizards are just laughing at me–they must know I have to work. I better not listen to Merl Haggard or I might get inspired to “walk off my steady job today!” -seadog 79. I have hunted squirrels, coons, hogs, quail, dove, pheasant, ducks, and geese all with dogs and have plans to go out west and hunt mountain lion and black bear in the near future. Anyone that says hunting with dogs is not sporting has simple never done it. It is an exciting, fast paced, time-honored tradition that needs to be preserved. If fellow hunters do not band together we will not be able to hunt with or without dogs in the future. – clint02 80. Just yesterday I shot into a squirrel nest and a squirrel came flying out. I did it to the same squirrel two days in a row. P.S. the first shot didn’t kill him. -squirrel hunter 81. The wolf really holds to the truth that some of the most beautiful things in nature can also be it’s deadliest. I hope that in the future a few SCI entries will come out of Wyoming, Montana, and the likes. -grmustangs 82. The last person to punch me in the face–and actually intend to do me harm–was a large-boned woman in a bar in New Orleans’ French Quarter who was none-too-happy that I was making out with her girlfriend. -DivineStrake 83. Number 4 reminds me of my ex-wife, sharp teeth and always ready to chew my a$$. Here come the nightmares again! -rrmont 84. In our deer camp the youngest hunter stokes the woodstove at night, if he doesn’t uphold his duty, his boots are filled with water and put outside to freeze. – Big Jake 85. Thank God for gals like Dr. Ball! She makes women and salt water fishing what it should be. Dr Ball, I think I feel a fever coming on. -birdhunter32 86. I have said it before and I will say it again, you don’t need a big ass knife. In most cases a big knife is a sign of a little wiener. They are big and heavy and not that practical, but boy are they cool. Don’t get caught in the big knife big $, knives. I have an M-9 bayonet, a Scrap Yard 6, and several other big knives. I don’t carry them. Consider a small hatchet for chopping. Consider a 3-inch drop point folder for gutting animals. For those who think they need a “combat knife” to quietly kill sentries, get a suppressor. -RWBlue 87. It’s good you’re OK, but running from any bear, even during a charge, is a bad idea. Most bears veer away. Even a can of pepper spray could very well have deterred it–you can fire it from its holster. -Bluedog Alaska 88. Is there anything better in the world than a fine woman with a beautiful weapon? -BearMcGillicudy 89. I’ll keep my guns, freedom, and money… you can keep the “change!” -read off of a bumper sticker. -Soybees 90. This is so crazy that they put this deer in the school bus.–Jimb12345 91. All kidding aside, don’t take skin cancer lightly.–Hunting Oma 92. When the Sierra Club puts out info like that, it makes me start to think about not joining again–DougWalters 93. I watched my 5-year-old niece call a tom across a hollow and road and then up a hill just playing with my slate call!!! I told my sister I am definitely taking her turkey huntin’ with me!!!–HawkEye 94. I would not waste time–put a bullet in it and be done. Baboons are more dangerous than people think. People have been killed by them. They tear out your eyes, bight your hands, and genitals.–Marinesniper44 95. THERE IS A HEAVEN AND IT’S IN SD.–Waldman 79 96. I have long wondered what might happen if one of the conservation organization giants were to step up and make an offer to PETA and HSUS….a fundraising challenge, so to speak…if PF, DU and NWTF were to challenge the so-called animal rights organizations to pony up millions of dollars, matching funds from the conservation organizations, to go towards habitat protection and purchase….how would PETA and HSUS explain their negative responses to their members?–Crosbychief 97. Don’t call loud and don’t call much only make soft yelps and most gobblers will come.–Hunter 53 98. Bob Barker is still alive? Who Knew–Seadog 99. Guns kill people just like forks made Rosie O’Donell fat.–Old Salts 100. Somewhere in the deepest recess of my brain, I seem to recall a history teacher telling me that the meat the old time mountain men preferred was cougar, even given a choice…Not too sure I ever believed it…–Montanagyrene Why would tax payers go for a million dollar electric fence to keep out carp. This is how the DNR rips off the tax payers and what kind of ad campaign did they use to get this by the public? –patrick88 The smartest, dumbest, craziest, taken-out-of-context comments left by Outdoorlife.com web users. Here’s a look at the first 10 in our Web Comment Hall of Fame. Coming soon! Top 30 comments of all time!