Limestone "Stoney" Young has been with the family a little over a month now and it's been a month of joy, destruction, pain, and bliss. Here's a look at Gayne's new dog ownership.
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Stoney and my nine-year-old daughter have become fast friends.
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Stoney’s roughness and uncontrollable brute force have been a mixed blessing for my six-year-old son.
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Stoney is fond of destroying things. Here she is with, clockwise, a half-sheered towel, a gnawed on lightsaber, a once two-pegged bird feeder, another eaten towel, one of my once-was-a-pair-shoes, and a Yeti cooler she tried to eat the handle off of. Total time to do the above? I’m guessing less than a minute.
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This metal lawn sprinkler had been in my family for over four generations. Now, it is a destroyed-wheel memory of the Young’s coming to America from great Britian.
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Stoney enjoys playing with my daughter, which involves pulling and ripping her pants.
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Stoney also enjoys ripping into my daughter’s tender flesh. Down, Stoney! Down!
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And now back to the pants.
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I’m not sure what Stoney’s facial expression is hinting at, but I yelled to my daughter, “Drop the puppy and walk away quickly!” across the yard.
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Stoney’s cute demeanor is actually a cover for her deep-rooted homicidal thoughts.
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Here, Stoney has commandeered what I believe to be a rubber alligator toy valued at more than $20. Not shown is my son running after him and me yelling, “That’s a twenty-dollar alligator, you little rat turd!”
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Yes, there will be no resale on the alligator.
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It was such a cute moment. Stoney brought me a soccer ball. My son said, “Look, Dad, she likes the World Cup!” I smiled and replied, “Americans don’t watch the Cup!” and kicked both the ball and the dog into the next yard.
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What does Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai have to do with my dog Stoney? Nothing. Nothing at all.
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Late one Friday night, Stoney hit the floor in misery. We took her to the vet only to discover she had parvo.
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Though she’d had two immunizations against the disease, parvo hit Stoney like a weighted sledgehammer. The vet gave her very slim odds for survival. My wife and I began to fear the worse.
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My wife wrapped Stoney in a towel and announced that she needed to sleep in our bed that night. That’s wife code for, “Gayne, you need to sleep on the couch tonight.”
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Thanks to my wife’s diligence, and the power of the animal-husbandry pharmaceutical industry and prayer, Stoney lived to destroy this part of my yard.
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Even though I loved this watering can like a family member, I didn’t mind losing it to Stoney. It’s good to have her back healthy and happy.

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