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Can't Make this Up VII
September 27, 2010
Minks run amuck
Thousands of minks marauded through the Brandenburg countryside, killing chickens and woodland creatures after suspected animal activists released thousands from a fur farm. Police searched for those responsible for the break-in at the farm in Frankenforde, which resulted in the release of 4,000 minks. About 2,000 of the weasel-like carnivores have been captured, but the other half have been snacking freely on local farm fowl, wild birds and other small animals, police reported. Photo:
Can't Make This Up 6
Can't Make This Up 5
Can't Make This Up 4
10-foot boa found in toilet
Residents of a flat in England claimed that a 10-foot long boa constrictor lived in their plumbing system. They said the snake would sneak throughout the plumbing and raid apartments. At first no one believed them … and why should they, a boa in the toilet, you gotta be kidding me? But then one of the residents in the flat captured the snake proving everyone's claims to be true. The snake was left behind by a former resident who had been evicted. For more:
10ft snake popped out of lavatories at block of flats
PETA calls for breast milk ice cream
People for the Ethical Treatement of Animals has pulled some pretty weird stunts, but this one takes the cake, err ice cream. In 2008 PETA wrote a formal letter to ice cream maker Ben and Jerry's asking them to replace the milk for their ice cream with human breast milk. "If Ben and Jerry's replaced the cow's milk in its ice cream with breast milk, your customers -- and cows -- would reap the benefits," PETA wrote the ice cream maker. One thing PETA didn't consider: where is all that milk going to come from? For more:
How about a double scoop of mama's milk?
Black bear busts pot growers
A big black bear shut down a marijuana growing operation in Utah by repeatedly raiding the camp. Investigators showed up at the camp to find it evacuated. They also found claw marks and bear sign everywhere. They think the pot growers got so tired of being raided by the bear that they up and left. "This bear is definitely law-enforcement minded," Garfield County Sheriff Danny Perkins told the Associated Press. "If I can find this bear I'm going to deputize him." For more:
Smokey? Black bear busts secret Utah pot farm
Poachers busted on Facebook
The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers cited Inverness residents William Andrew Buchanan, 21, and Tara Anne Carver, 27, when an investigation found they had illegally taken a whitetail deer and posted photos of them skinning the animal on Facebook. The two are not exactly the smartest crime duo out there. When questioned by investigating FWC authorities, Buchanan confirmed he was in the photographs helping skin the deer, though he wouldn't admit to shooting the animal or being present when the deer was killed, said Lead Investigator Jim Smith. "Carver said she published the photographs on her Facebook page and that the deer was killed sometime in May," Smith said. She blamed Buchanan for killing the deer but confirmed she had skinned it and stored some of the meat in her uncle's freezer.
Deputy shoots deer … 17 times
A sheriffs deputy in Gainesville responded to a call about a deer that had been hit by a car and had to be dispatched. When he arrived on the scene, he realized he didn't know how to kill the deer so he called his superior. A police sergeant told the frazzled deputy to shoot the deer in the heart, just behind the shoulder. The deputy did his best to follow his orders but shot the deer in the stomach 17 times until it died. The sheriffs department is now planing a training session on how to quickly kill wounded animals. For more:
Fla. deputy had to shoot injured deer 17 times
Radio-active hogs storm Germany
According to German newspaper Spiegel Online, wild radioactive boars are wreaking havoc in forests and towns. Recently, a man in a wheelchair was attacked by a boar in a park in Berlin, and in July a herd of two dozen hogs tromped through a town called Eisenach. Perhaps the biggest problem, is that you can't eat the boars. They're contaminated thanks to leftover radioactivity from the Chernobyl meltdown. German hunters have been killing the pigs (they killed 650,000 last season), trying to decrease the population, but what's the fun of hog hunting if you can't barbecue it after? For compensation, the German government has been paying hunters for bringing in contaminated meat, and it doled out more than half a million dollars last year. That's four times more than it paid in 2007. For more:
Radioactive boar on the rise in Germany
Canuck KO's bear with a rock
A lone Canadian logger was assessing timber in British Columbia last week when he suddenly found himself faced by a charging black bear. Armed with neither pepper spray nor a sidearm, Jesse Mengler had to think fast. He reached to the ground, grabbed a softball-sized rock and reverted to the skills he once used as a baseball pitcher. "... He's ten feet away. I reached back and just threw the rock and struck it right between the eyes," Mengler later told CBC News. "It was like I shot it. Knocked it right out!"
Seal puts the moves on a King penguin
Maybe he was confused or maybe he was frustrated, but either way, a young South African fur seal exposed scientists to mating behavior never witnessed before. For about 45 minutes, the young male seal unsuccessfully tried to get intimate with the a King penguin. The researchers were baffled. "At first glimpse, we thought the seal was killing the penguin," Nico de Bruyn, of the Mammal Research Institute at the University of Pretoria, South Africa told the BBC. Just think how the penguin felt. For More:
'Sex pest' seal attacks penguin
Man kills deer with his bare hands
While at his daughter's Arkansas home, Wayne Goldsberry heard a crash in the back bedroom. When he went to inspect the noise he found a five-point buck thrashing the room. He instructed his daughter to call the police and then for 40 minutes he wrestled the buck, eventually grabbing it by the horns and breaking its neck. When the police finally arrived the deer was dead in the front lawn and Goldsberry was bruised but victorious. The deer was later processed and made into venison. For more:
Man battles buck with his bare hands, and wins
Catch of the day: coyote
Onalaska, Wisc. angler Darren Zumach was fishing for bass on a Mississippi River slough when he received a cell phone call from his buddy Bruce Chandler, who was in a separate boat in the same general area. His pal informed him that he'd just hooked a 25- to 30-pound pound coyote and needed some help landing and releasing it. Sure enough, when Zumach motored to Chandler's location, he his pal engaged in an unlikely on-the-water battle with an adult coyote that had leapt from the tall grass to attack his shoreline presentation of an Ish's Phat Frog topwater bass lure. The pair was eventually able to unhook the coyote which swam back to shore.
Chihauhuas corner mountain lion
Mountain lions are known for being among the craftiest predators in North America, but last year three toy chihuahuas cornered a full-grow mountain lion in garage in California. Each dog weighed only about three pounds. When the home owner entered her garage, she gathered up her three ferocious chihauhuas and called the police. The cops eventually shot and killed the lion. For more: Chihuahuas:
Yo Quiero Mountain Lion
The goose funeral
What do you get when you combine a park full of goose poop, some frustrated park officials, a generous amount of carbon dioxide and a group of bleeding heart animal lovers? You get a goose funeral. In Bend's Drake Park, Oregon a group of people gathered to mourn the euthanization of 109 Canada geese. Days before, officials had rounded up the geese and killed them by stuffing them into canisters filled with carbon dioxide. The geese (and the large amount of poop they produced) were a nuisance in the park and month-long attempts to scare them away had failed. But some of the more sensitive Bend locals were shocked by the killings. So they organized a funeral singing songs, reading poems and saying prayers for the 109 fallen fowl. "I think a memorial like this will help people console each other," Bend resident Foster Fell told the local Bend Bulletin newspaper. "I, myself, in the last few days have been nursing a tear in my eye and a lump in my throat." Photo:
Tree huggers give out free condoms
According to its own press material, the Center for Biological Diversity is poised to launch the Endangered Species Condom Project. The promotion's aim is to distribute free condoms wrapped in six different endangered-species-themed packages, with the goal of raising awareness about the alleged dire negative effects we humans have on the planet. By the way, the condoms are made for use by humans--not by endangered species (just wanted to clarify that). "The project will raise awareness about overpopulation's serious impacts on our planet and spark, we hope, new conversations about the need to bring Homo sapiens back into balance with the rest of life on Earth," CBD Executive Director Kieran Suckling wrote in a Jan. 27 email to supporters.
Two thieves in Germany made off with a van and thought they were in the clear. Little did they know that the van held a full grown circus lion named Cesar. The two bandits eventually crashed the van into a road sign and ran off. The van was brought to an impound lot with Cesar still inside (officials didn't realize there was a lion in the van). But Cesar's story has a happy ending. Eventually the lion tamer tracked down his stolen van and was reunited with Cesar, who was uninjured. For more:
Thieves take lion on night drive
California's Venice beach is home to a two-headed six-legged turtle named Cheech and Chong. The turtles are a new addition to the Venice beach freak show founded by Todd Ray. "Since there are two personalities, they want to go two separate ways sometimes," Ray told the AOL News. "This can often end up in a battle that causes them to flip over and then they can't flip themselves back." For more:
Two-headed, Six-Legged Turtle Finds Home
Lake Michigan Shark
Rich Fasi of Traverse City, Michigan found a 2-foot blacktip shark in Lake Michigan in 2008. The shark was dead, and authorities believe it was released by someone who had been keeping it as a pet. For more:
Man says he found dead shark in Lake Michigan
Pontoon boat tops 100 mph
At the Lake of the Ozarks boat racing derby Ken Gouty revved up a pontoon boat named Little Putt-Putt and got her cruising to 100 mph. He did so with a PlayCraft 2700 supercharged engine. His next closest competitor topped out at 99 mph. For more:
100 mph PlayCraft Pontoon Shatters World Record
Bear vs Zucchini-weilding woman
A Montana woman was on her back porch when a black bear attacked one of her dogs. The woman yelled at the bear, which then charged at her. The woman grabbed a zucchini and tossed it at the bear. Her aim was true and she drilled the bruin right on top of the head. Apparently the bear had decided he'd had enough and took off.
The urban legends are true. This summer police caught an 18-inch alligator that climbed out of an overflowing storm drain in New York City. There have been long standing rumors that alligators or crocodiles live in the city's sewer system and in 2001 a caiman that lived in Central Park evaded authorities for about a week. Gator hunting in the Big Apple anyone? For more:
Gator crawls out of Queens drain
Monkeys are good at math
Research from Duke University has found that monkeys are just about as good at mental addition as college students. Two monkeys were shown two sets of dots that were briefly flashed on a computer screen and then had to pick the correct answer for a prize of Kool-aid. The students took the same test but were given $10. Maybe the Duke students should stop skipping that Friday morning calculus lecture. For more:
Monkeys and college students as good at mental math
It's never right to stomp the bejesus out of a pelican. Even if it did try to steal your fish. But that's exactly what California resident Daniel Richard Moreno did in March. He was fishing off the Newport Pier when a pelican tried to grab one of his fish. Not wanting to lose his catch or take any guff from a large-throated sea bird, Moreno quickly commenced to stomping the bird's beak. Experts later determined that the bird, which is a protected species, suffered a 33- to 36-centimeter hairline fracture along its beak. Moreno fled the scene of his ill-fated human on bird melee but was later arrested by local police. This past Wednesday, Moreno plead guilty in court to charges of animal cruelty. He was sentenced to 20 days in jail but given the option of working off the time by picking up trash along the highway.
Yorkie put to death
Donald Ellis loved his dog so much that he would never part with it, even in death. Ellis left his family instructions that he wanted his two-year-old yorkshire terrier named Tom Tom buried along with him because he thought he was the only on who could properly care for it. The family was reluctant to put the dog down, but ended up following Ellis' dying wish. For more:
Do Yorkies have an afterlife?
The $780 beer
If you thought Ireland knew its liquor you should take a trip to its neighboring island of Scotland. Scottish brewery Brewdog is now making the strongest and most expensive beer in the world called the End of History. It costs $780 a bottle. If that's not odd enough, the first 12 bottles were inserted into mounted squirrels and rabbits. For more:
I can't imagine having a fish puke a human body part on me but that's exactly what happened to Humphrey Simmons. Simmons and some friends were fishing in deep water roughly 38 miles from Nassau when Simmons hooked into the large shark. As Simmons wasn't targeting sharks and didn't particularly want to deal with one he asked his friend Stanley Bernard to get the boat's shotgun. Bernard did and quickly put several rounds into the fish's head when it surfaced. The men then tied a rope around the shark's tail and pulled it to the boat. That's when the shark regurgitated a human foot -- intact from the knee down. The crew called authorities who are taking DNA samples to identify the body. Photo:
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