The Dallas Safari Club 2011 Convention

Probably not the best way to start out my trip.
Talk about class! I would have just had written "Dallas Safari Club" in marker on a sheet of poster board.
This gar on display at Indianhead Ranch's booth was taken in Lake Amistad, along the Texas - Mexico border. This ticket gal wasn't taken anywhere…Although I tried.
The retail value of rifles and shotguns on this stand at Griffin & Howe's booth is probably close to half a million dollars.
I did not win this truck despite buying many tickets from this gal.
Yes, I'm worth it.
What a rack! Oh grow up guys. I'm talking about the deer.
This booth sold knives and jewelry. God Bless America!
The artisans at Advanced Taxidermy & Wildlife Designs create some of the best fish reproductions in the world. I've got nothing funny to say about that.
Looks like Goldilocks escalated matters somewhat.
You want antlers? We got antlers. Big antlers. Small antlers. Hanging antlers. Standing antlers. Come to Antler-Rama located on Interstate 10 to fulfill your antler fantasies today! Free parking and hot dogs for the kids! Antler-Rama! Antler-Rama!
Is a sitatunga antelope my only choice? Or can I have other animals swimming in my table? Cuz, I tell ya', I'm a big nutria rat fan.
Pretty ladies and mounted elephant heads. Again, God Bless America!
"Sa habla espanol?"
"Uhhhh, Fiero."
"That's a crappy 80s car you idiot! I asked if you speak Spanish!"
"Uhhhh, Pinto."
Just look at the size of that lion!
I couldn't decide if this cat looked really angry or just cross-eyed.
Artist Peter Blackwell had the coolest mustache at the show.
And pretty great art.
Whatever you do, don't tell Joel's wife that he bought a brand new Mauser rifle. He's not telling her for some reason.
This .470 nitro express is designed to take down elephants. But could it knock down my mass of thick stands-up-on-its-own hair? Not a chance.
This guy from Lone Star Ag Credit gave me a free Koozie. Thus, he's in my gallery.
The dream of many an African hunter - a monster buff.
It's all about how the trips are presented.
What does Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai have to do with the Dallas Safari Club Convention? Nothing. Nothing at all.
This wild boar skull is wrapped in python skin.
That's all I got.
Part of the fun of the show is seeing mounts of animals that are no longer allowed to be hunted, such as this tapir. The cougar you can still hunt.
More beautiful women at the show ...
... man I have a tough job.
Despite the fact that I've written several articles for them, the lovely ladies of Texas Sporting Journal only remember me because of my hair.
Yo da la he ho!
Poor Barry. He thinks I took this picture because of his rocking shirt and boots. Make Barry feel better about himself by booking a hunt with him at Oak Creek Whitetail Ranch. He's a great guide. Really. I know him.
MultiView's custom semi was nothing short of incredible. Why?
Because this is the interior (check out the marble floors)
And this is the bedroom (I'm not crazy about the linens though)…
And this is the shower.
Performance Top Drives makes a pretty sweet Jeep.
Yes. I just wrote "sweet."
Hey Larry. Hands off man. My shirt's suede.
This would be a pretty nice wine cabinet if my friend Joel's head wasn't in it. Come on dude, I'm working.
This was so cool. I wish I had video of it. This wall of bookshelves from Colonial Craft Hideaways actually conceals a built in gun safe. To access the safe you simply tilt a book forward. This activates a motor that slides the bookcase sideways to reveal the hidden compartment. It's totally Scooby-Doo.
These gals were representing the Scorpion Ranch, which is only about 40 miles from my house. They didn't seem real impressed with that fact.
What does Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai have to do with the Dallas Safari Club Convention? Nothing. Nothing at all.
Taxidermy of a super rare black panther.
"Hey kid, will you hold up this rifle so I can get your picture for Outdoor Life." "I sure as hell will!"

The Dallas Safari Club Convention is one of the first major hunting shows of the season. It's also widely regarded as one of the best and most attendee friendly. Join Gayne Young as he hits the "Big D" for the show.