The Worst of THTM

We've had several This Happened To Me (THTM) submissions about wild hogs, but this is the only one that has wild hogs and kissing in the same scenario. And for the record, we will never, ever title a THTM "Kiss and Tell."
It might not look like much, but trust us, this submission is one for the ages. Suffice to say, it involves fishing and sunbathing. And the submitter included a photograph of his wife running naked in a field, fleeing an army of fire ants.
Note to all future submitters: If you compare a raging, back-slashing fox to your ex-wife, it probably will make us laugh. But it probably won't make its way into the magazine.
Anyone hungry for lunch?
For the record, we don't advocate using your road flares as mock hand grenades, especially if you're throwing them into caves.
There's really no tactful way to illustrate "the rest of the story," so we decided to leave this one on the cutting room floor.
The classic case of a motorboat having a mind of its own.
Leg cracked, shoulder badly broken, upper arm broken, in and out of consciousness, and able to do nothing but crawl. Then the guy manages to climb up a tree stand and hunt some wolves. At least he has his priorities straight.
Choking a squirrel. What's not to love?
"The sirens for tornado warnings were still going. My son and best friend…began casting, ignoring the sirens." Darwin Award anyone?