The Land Rover Defender 90. Perhaps the ultimate hunting vehicle in the world. How good is it? So good that it fails most U.S. highway safety tests. Stupid dual airbag requirement! Still, I want one.
The Tissot T-Touch Expert has an altimeter, compass, thermometer, and alarm. It also keeps darn good time. The rubber bracelet is nice for all those nasty sweaty environments I find myself in. Nothing's nastier than a sweat laden leather watch band. Well, there are a few things nastier but why ruin such a nice gallery entry with nastiness? Why would I want a Walden & Bork Doc Purse in alligator for Father's Day? Because Walden & Bork won't make it for my wife until I give them the alligator skins, which means I'm on my way to hunt some gators. A bespoke Holland & Holland Royal Double Rifle in .470 Nitro costs more than the average American home. Start saving your money kids. Daddy deserves the best. The Big Five of Africa: lion, leopard, elephant, buffalo, and rhino. Hunts for all five start in the six figures. Forget saving your money kids. One of you will have to sell a kidney on the black market to give this trip to daddy. But, isn't he worth it? The golden tankin is one of the most difficult hunts China has to offer. That's probably because most people have never heard of a tankin. Why would daddy want Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai for Father's Day? Never mind kids. Never mind. My kids will have to grease some serious wheels over at Outdoor Life corporate to get me on the cover of the next issue. Still, I have faith. They're smart kids and the O.L. staff are masters at taking kickbacks. I'm not sure on the legality of this one but I'd love to hunt leopard seal in Antarctica. I'd prefer to hunt them someplace warm but they don't live anywhere warm. I already have a pair of Russell Moccasin PH Hunter Boots but now that I have a new dog around the house I figure I could use a few spare pairs. The 250 quart Yeti cooler is so big you could bury Gary Coleman in it. It is big enough to hold a…well…something really big. Or several cases of beer. Let's go with that one – The 250 quart Yeti cooler can hold several cases of beer. I want one. I love hot wings and the best come from Wings & More in College Station, Texas! I'll take 50, extra hot, extra wet, and extra crisp. As we say in Texas, "It ain't hot unless it burns you twice." My safari wear is looking a little ragged. I need some new ensemble from J.L. Powell. And maybe a gym membership before I tell them my waist size. What's a hunt without cigars? A crummy hunt, that's what. I'd like several boxes of Davidoff. Make them Dominican please. A new trophy room would be nice. This display at the Akeley Hall of African Mammals at the American Museum of Natural History gives me a few ideas.
