Hunters in Film 2

The Snows of Kilimanjaro
Movie tag line: His Adventures . . . Like His Loves . . . Were Great and Exciting!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: A selfish writer full of bitter regret and feverish delirium - hey, I know that guy.
The good: A hunter and a writer - what's not good?
The bad: The whole lying there dying part's a bummer.
The ugly: Not much hunting going on.
Hunter's Blood
Movie tag line: Out there, no one hears you scream.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Either anal-retentive business types with no real skills or as backwoods tromping tobacco chewing inbred hillbillies.
The good: So bad it's fun.
The bad: Buck fever guy misses shot.
The ugly: Hey, is that Billy Bob Thorton in his first staring roll? Yep. Sure is.
Jumanji
Movie tag line: Roll the dice and unleash the excitement!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Stuffy amoral Englishman with a sack full of gold and a heart full of bloodlust.
The good: The movie's title is fun to say, especially after a few drinks. Try saying it three times fast.
The bad: CGI animals are as cartoonish as the hunter.
The ugly: Stars the beautiful Kirsten Dunst - when she's 11!
Wedding Crashers
Movie tag line: On July 15th, they're coming to your wedding...with or without invitations
Hunter(s) portrayed as: An arrogant yuppie hell bent on getting whatever he wants.
The good: Funny movie overall.
The bad: Once again, hunting is portrayed as a bloodsport that only jerks would be interested in.
The ugly: Vince Vaughn getting shot in the butt by a hunter.
Alligator
Movie tag line: Beneath Those Manholes, A Man-Eater Is Waiting
Hunter(s) portrayed as: A pompous idiot that can't kill a giant sewer dwelling alligator.
The good: A giant sewer dwelling alligator!
The bad: The alligator is killed at the end.
The ugly: Most of the clothes and hairstyles - it was filmed in 1980.
Hatari
Movie tag line: Wayne means adventure!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Speed demon calf ropers. John Wayne and his crew actually aren't hunters. They capture animals for sale to zoos.
The good: Filmed on location in Africa.
The bad: Running animals down in a Jeep.
The ugly: A hunter gets gored by a rhino.
What does Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai have to do with hunting in film? Nothing. Nothing at all.
The Last of the Mohicans - 1992 version
Movie tag line: The first American hero.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Dedicated men who do what they can to insure a clean kill. Respectful to the animal and its place in the balance of life.
The good: Fight scenes are intense!
The bad: Wes Studi as Magua the vengeful Indian.
The ugly: The "soft in the head" sister. Colonel Edmund Munro getting his heart cut out by Magua - nothing kills an afternoon like having your heart cut out.
The Macomber Affair
Movie tag line: Peck...Bennett...Hemingway...only all three together could create this electric love story...with a vengeance!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Irritating adulterous amoral individuals - no one's perfect I guess.
The good: Not as bad a movie as it could have been.
The bad: The movie's as bad as it is.
The ugly: "Murder in the heart" is code for "I wanted to kill my husband so I could sleep with the P.H."
Crocodile Dundee
Movie tag line: From the Australian Outback to New York City, Michael J. "Crocodile" Dundee is about to survive in a different kind of Jungle.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Pun dropping croc poachers with magical powers to persuade buffalo or drunken jerks out to slaughter kangaroos for kicks in-between beers.
The good: "That's not a knife. That's a knife!"
The bad: Cheesy ending.
The ugly: Paul Hogan's leathery skin screams skin cancer.
My Cousin Vinny
Movie tag line: Rambo. Terminator. Indiana Jones. Vinny Gambini.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Bambi killers.
The good: Pretty funny; Marisa Tomei's short skirts.
The bad: The Brooklyn accents hurt like a potato peeler turning in your nose.
The ugly: The Brooklyn accents cut like a cheese grater on your privates.
Tarzan - 1999 Disney version
Movie tag line: An immortal legend. As you've only imagined.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: A barrel chested arrogant brute that shoots at anything moving and is not adverse to watching talking apes suffer in a cage.
The good: Tarzan fights, kills Sabor the leopard. Jane's cute two piece jungle wear ensemble at the end of the movie.
The bad: Rosie O'Donnell voices one of the apes.
The ugly: Talking apes rank right up there with clowns and mimes in my book.
Safari
Movie tag line: Murderous Mau-Mau! Maddened Beasts! Mighty Jungle Love!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Greasy haired machine gun toting revenge seeker.
The good: Janet Leigh's hot! Me-ow!
The bad: Not much safari action for a movie named "Safari."
The ugly: I ran out of beer halfway through the movie.
Sergeant York
Movie tag line: America's Greatest Modern Hero! Timelier today than ever…thrilling and inspiring story of the kind of men that America is made of!
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Reluctant hero, red blooded American!
The good: York mows down Nazi's using a turkey call to lure them in.
The bad: One of York's buddies eats it.
The ugly: Did I mention Nazis!
My Side of the Mountain
Movie tag line: Sam, a brilliant child, leaves home for the mountains after being told that the family summer trip has been canceled, thus preventing him from doing the algae experiments he had planned for that summer.
Hunter(s) portrayed as: Doesn't matter. A hunter could be wearing a house dress and still be tougher than Sam.
The good: None unless you count all the fun I had yelling at Sam and his hippie buddies throughout the movie.
The bad: All of it. What a bunch of touchy-feely PC hippie unicorns and rainbow crap.
The ugly: Sam has a pet - excuse me, - friend - raccoon.