Swiss ban catch & release angling, goldfish flushing

If you thought the animal rights movement in the U.S. attracts members of the lunatic fringe with a less-than-firm grasp of reality, well, you’re correct, naturally.

But one needs to only look around to realize that it’s getting even weirder in other places.

For example, as of September 1, Switzerland has outdistanced every other country in the world with its humanization of animals, in the humble opinion of The Outdoor Life Newshound.

That’s because, beginning last week, new animal protection laws implemented by the Swiss government ban catch and release fishing, requiring all anglers to immediately—and humanely—dispatch every fish they catch. Angling with live bait is also a no-no under the new law.

Worms have feelings, too, don’t you know?

There’s more. Under the new legislation, goldfish and other home aquarium inhabitants must be stunned and killed before being flushed into the watery hereafter. And, lest fish be mentally abused by not allowing them to socialize, they cannot be the lone inhabitants of their fish bowls.


We swear, we’re not making this up.

The same social paradigm applies to other common household Swiss pets, including parakeets and hamsters. Even sheep and goats must now have at least “a visual contact with their fellows,” according to the new law.

Of course, there’s even more. After all, why stop an anthromorphic juggernaut when it’s on a roll?

As of September 1, Swiss dog owners are required by law to take special classes on raising canines so their pets will be less likely to learn bad behavior, like biting. In other words, government-mandated dog obedience classes—for humans.

And finally, the animal-worshippers in Geneva have determined that all swine-raising operations in the country provide showers for their porkers, just in case the oinkers might desire a little freshening-up after a day of lounging in the mud.

Here at The Newshound, we don’t know what’s in the water over there in Switzerland. We just hope—whatever it is—they’re not exporting it.