The Greatest Outdoor Quotes You’ve Never Heard Before!

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By Bob McNally

Posted on Aug 27, 2009 6:00 PM EDT

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"Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea'." "Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping?" Jessica Simpson

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"Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream." "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." W. C. Fields
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"The perils of duck hunting are great – especially for the duck." Walter Cronkite
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"The great body of our citizens shoot less as times goes on. We should encourage rifle practice among schoolboys, and indeed among all classes, as well as in the military services by every means in our power. Thus, and not otherwise, may we be able to assist in preserving peace in the world. The first step – in the direction of preparation to avert war if possible, and to be fit for war if it should come – is to teach men to shoot!" Theodore Roosevelt
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"No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." Thomas Jefferson
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"If fishing is a religion, fly fishing is high church." Tom Brokaw
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"The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish." Sam Snead
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"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." Sigmund Freud
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"Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish." Steven Wright
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"Don't bottom fish." Peter Lynch
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"Luck affects everything. Let your hook always be cast; in the stream where you least expect it there will be a fish." Ovid
"All political power comes from the barrel of a gun. The communist party must command all the guns, that way, no guns can ever be used to command the party." Mao Tse Tung
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"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain." "Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish." Mark Twain
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"I'm going to gut you like a fish." Mike Tyson
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"Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it." Lao Tzu
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"A hungry dog hunts best." Lee Trevino
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"If you believe in your heart that you are right, you must fight with all your might to do it your way. Only dead fish swim with the stream all the time." Linda Ellerbee
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"It's okay to eat fish because they don't have any feelings." Kurt Cobain
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"Sell a man a fish, he eats for a day, teach a man how to fish, you ruin a wonderful business opportunity." Karl Marx
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"Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living." Julius Boros
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"It has always been my private conviction that any man who puts his intelligence up against a fish and loses had it coming." John Steinbeck
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"My friend Ed Begley goes fishing. It's a little smelly to me, I don't like it so much. I like to eat fish, but I don't like to catch them." Jeff Goldblum
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"Americans have the right and advantage of being armed, unlike the people of other countries, whose leaders are afraid to trust them with arms." James Madison
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"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Gloria Steinem
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"A free people ought to be armed." George Washington
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"That rifle on the wall of the labourer's cottage or working class flat is the symbol of democracy. It is our job to see that it stays there." George Orwell
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"If you want to catch more fish, use more hooks." George Allen
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"Fish, I love you and respect you very much. But I will kill you dead before this day ends." Ernest Hemingway
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"A fish may love a bird, but where would they live?" Drew Barrymore
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"Yeah, some kids called me fish lips because I had these really full lips. Now I'm sure all those same girls are getting collagen injections, so I'm having the last laugh." Denise Richards
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"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business." "The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins." "The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition." Dave Barry
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"You've got to think lucky. If you fall into a mudhole, check your back pocket – you might have caught a fish." Darrell Royal
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"When he was young, I told Dale Jr. that hunting and racing are a lot alike. Holding that steering wheel and holding that rifle both mean you better be responsible." Dale Earnhardt
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"Fish recognize a bad leader." Conan O'Brien
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"Hell, if I'd jumped on all the dames I'm supposed to have jumped on, I'd have had no time to go fishing." Clark Gable
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"There is a passion for hunting something deeply implanted in the human breast." Charles Dickens
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"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days." Benjamin Franklin
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"Fish die belly upward, and rise to the surface. Its their way of falling." Andre Gide
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"You cannot invade mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind each blade of grass." Admiral Yamamoto

These fishing, hunting, camping and boating one-liners are classics!